Take a Drink: when they stop using found footage
Take a Drink: when the word “pyramid” is said
Take a Drink: when someone is killed offscreen
Take a Drink: when the camera malfunctions/bad lighting covers obvious budgetary issues
Do Two Shots: at the point you realize you are wasting your time
By: StarvinMarvinMcFly (Six Beers) –
I’m done, that’s it, I’m throwing in my towel.
If anyone knows about the death of found footage this year, it’s me. I’ve seen most of them, and most for this site. Of course there will be some good ones, but Hollywood has kicked this horse dead and then some.
Then what do you consider The Pyramid?
It’s a death knell, a white flag with a warning.
This movie is not worth your time.
It is one of the worst horror movies of the year, as well as one of the worst I have ever seen.
I thought there was some possibility here, with director Gregory Levasseur being from some good company. He’s a product of the “New French Extremity” film movement, having worked with friend and collaborator Alexandre Aja on a handful of really good horror movies, including High Tension and namely the better-than-they-had-any-right-to-be remakes of The Hills Have Eyes, Maniac, and Piranha.
Anything that made those movies good is absent here, proving how much of the heavy lifting Aja did. He’s relegated to producer here and you can tell. It’s noticeably devoid of any suspense, true scares, inventive gore, or originality.
There are better movies out, trust me.
This movie will be forgotten about in a month.
Drink these really fast, then you’ll have an excuse to leave the theater. The movie is underlit, the writing is atrocious, it’s not scary, and it’s boring. Move along.
I don’t mean to be so harsh. Well, I do. Hollywood has to retire the found footage thing, or get more inventive with it. This rote, boring assembly line garbage is offensive to anyone looking for signs of life in the Hollywood horror genre. Look to other countries or to the Indie/VOD circuit for quality horror entries. It seems Hollywood horror, and especially this movie, is certified Dead On Arrival.