Take a Drink: for every jump scare you saw coming.
Take a Drink: for every joke that falls flat.
Do a Shot: every time a black blur appears on screen
Finish your Drink: because the franchise is hopefully over.
By: Movie Snurb (Five Beers) –
The film starts out at the end of the third film, then the story jumps forward to 2013. While decorating their house for Christmas, Mike and Ryan find this special camera that’s able to record paranormal happenings along with a box of old tapes. You find out they’re tapes of Katie and Kristi when they’re children doing some kind of ritualistic stuff. I won’t say much more than that because the people who want to actually see how this franchise plays out should go and see the film. I’ll warn you you’ll probably see the explanation coming from a mile away.
As the credits rolled I could only think of one thing “It’s finally over.” Every Paranormal Activity has been increasingly worse, so I wasn’t expecting much and I was still disappointed. However, this film finally did explain what was going on. There was actually a connection between this one and the first three without having to look for it like in Paranormal Activity 4. You could compare this film to The Godfather: Part III; it’s not good and you’ll never want to watch it again, but it did wrap up the story and explain everything nicely.
In the words of Daniel Plainview, “I’m finished.” Finally.
The 3D in this film was pointless. The only use for the effect was so they could throw a black blurry object at you every ten minutes until it’s over. It’ll start to wear thin the very first time it happens. You can also see these scares coming a mile away. “Hey, it’s cool, there’s nothing there.” Then bam! Blurry object in your face. Come on, try harder.
AAAHHH Blurry object!!!
Which brigs me to the writing; it has to be the laziest writing of the series. Like I said, you can see the scares coming a mile away. If you want a jump scare to work you need to make the audience feel safe and secure, then you scare them. That’s how an effective scare works. Like in the second film when Kristi is sitting in the kitchen reading and then the entire kitchen explodes. You don’t expect it, which makes it effective. The other reason the first films worked so well is because you couldn’t see the monster. They make your imagination do the scaring. In these cases less is more.
I truly think you could take the screenplay from the other movies and insert them into this film. It follows the same lazy formula, and about halfway through all I could think was, “They’re not even trying anymore.” Well, hopefully with this being the last one we won’t have to suffer through their laziness anymore.
“You’re not even trying anymore.”
Speaking of lazy writing, the two supporting characters are pointless. Is Skylar a friend or relative? I’m not sure because they never explain why she’s staying with these people over the holidays. She is only in the movie because she has big tits and is nice to look at. Also, the husband Ryan’s friend Mike also gave no contribution to the story. I think he was supposed to provide comedic relief but all of his jokes fall flat. Thanks for nothing, Mike.
Speaking of pointless characters. At least they weren’t annoying like him.
The camera was supposed to show Ghosts. However, all it did was make me nauseous. When they first turn the camera on it’s all grainy and it feels like you’re underwater. Well, that combination is awful because it’s not cool and you’ll end up with a headache, your eyes will hurt, and you’ll be sick to your stomach. They also don’t give any explanation as to how the camera is able to see Toby. So you have this camera and not a single person even in the old tapes can explain this camera? No idea how it was made or who made it? Someday I hope I can make a movie that explains nothing.
Have fun watching the movie like this.
This film is definitely the worst of all of them; however, it does explain everything that has been going on. So, if you’re a fan of the franchise and you want to know why these paranormal things have been happening since the first, go see this one. To anyone on the fence about this, though, stay home or go see any of the other great films out in theaters now.
Remember when the franchise was descent?