They Will Outlive Us All (2013)

MV5BMTc2ODk1OTU2NF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwNjkwMDEwMDE@._V1_SY317_CR10,0,214,317_By: Mitch Hansch (Three Beers) –
How many beers do you recommend for this movie?
1 Beer! A Toast! Great Movie!2 Beers! Good Movie!3 Beers! Okay Movie!4 Beers! Mediocre Movie!5 Beers! Awful Movie!6-Pack! Bad movie! Do not be Sober!

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Now here’s a film title that draws you in.  “They Will Outlive Us All” instantly has you wondering what exactly the referred to “they” could be in the horror films title and how “they” are planning to outlive us all.  If you’ve lived in NYC, where the film is set, and I have, you can guess pretty quickly what the little buggers are.  Some of the most petrifying moments in my life are my days spent living on 125th near Broadway, where sweltering summer days produced some of the biggest and nastiest cockroaches you’ve ever come across.  NYC cockroaches don’t scurry away when the lights comes on- they crawl towards you because they ain’t scared of nothing.

In the Patrick Shearer directed horror comedy, the cockroaches do more than just crawl towards you, they do much, much worse than that.  The film opens with a newspaper headline informing us that a few years from now NYC has been ravaged by Hurricane Sandy and the likes of a few other ‘Frankenstorms’.  Word is the city’s water supply isn’t quite right and roommates Margot (Jessi Gotta who also wrote the screenplay) and Daniel (Nat Cassidy) aren’t taking any chances.

A Toast

Gotti’s script has the two roomies holed up in the apartment building for the whole film.  This budget saving trick makes for a claustrophobic vibe, especially as they notice people just starting to bizarrely hang out motionless outside.  A goofy rapport between the two leads, in particular the quirky screen presence of actress Gotta, made up for the scenes that were designed to stretch out the anemic 73 minute running time.  Margot’s and Daniel’s Laurel and Hardy routine isn’t half bad, a shout out of the two watching The Anniversary Dinner (which Gotta directed) is very entertaining.

they will outlive us all 2

Beer Two

While Patrick Shearer used the lack of budget to some advantages, They Will Outlive Us All  is way too light on the “they”.  I really dug the B movie plastic critter they put out, I just wish there was more of it.

Beer Three

You’ll notice a score that borderlines on theft with slight variations to 28 Days Later and Requiem For A Dream, and the natural lighting approach makes for some confusion in their late night scenes.

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Verdict 

3beers

They Will Outlive Us All  is one delightfully weird, goofy, gross, and fun flick.

Drinking Game

Take a Drink: whenever Margot or Daniel drinks.

Take a Drink: whenever a person is just standing around outside.

Down a Shot: when Margot tries to vomit up something alive.

About Mitch Hansch

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