O.K. Connery (1967) Movie Review: Neil before Connery?

Drinking Game

Take a Drink: every time they reference Neil’s “Brother” (Sean Connery)

Take a Drink: for recurrence of the film’s main theme

Take a Drink: each time Neil Connery hypnotizes someone

Drink a Shot: whenever a gadget is used

Take a Drink: for every appearance of actors who also appear in official Bond films

Community Review

How many beers do you recommend for this movie?
1 Beer! A Toast! Great Movie!2 Beers! Good Movie!3 Beers! Okay Movie!4 Beers! Mediocre Movie!5 Beers! Awful Movie!6-Pack! Bad movie! Do not be Sober!

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Movie Review

By: Oberst Von Berauscht (Six Pack) –

First off, it should be noted: Neil Connery is Sean Connery’s brother, and you will be reminded of this constantly.

Neil Connery (himself) is a world renowned plastic surgeon (not in real life, but for the movie, it works…) who is dragged against his will into a massive espionage operation as his brother is busy with other work elsewhere in the world (seriously, that’s how they explain it). The plot involves an evil organization bent on a plot of world domination. Connery uses all means at his disposal, including his ability to use hypnotism like a Jedi, to win the day.

A Toast

The bevy of Bond film clichés in the film are almost overwhelming. Most notably, the film features roles from at least four actors who also appeared in the official Bond series. Lois Maxwell, who played “Moneypenny”,

loismaxwellconnery

Bernard Lee (M),

Bernard Lee

Adolfo Celi (Emilio Largo from Thunderball),

AdolfoConnery

and Anthony Dawson (Professor Dent in Dr. No).  

AnthonyDawsonconnery

The filmmakers were clearly going for full authenticity in re-capturing the Bond formula by ripping elements right out of the films. The story and attitude of the film definitely follows this pattern closely, though with a clearly lower budget.

Beer Two

Like so many Italian films of the time, OK Connery was shot silent and the audio track added in post production.  This results in some seriously strange looped voices.  The entire premise of the film revolved around Neil Connery being Sean Connery’s brother, and yet his voice is dubbed with an American accent. On top of that, Neil Connery just simply doesn’t have the charisma of his older brother, and the General Zod beard he wears throughout the film is distracting.

Screen Shot 2015-09-27 at 12.27.41 PM
Neil before Connery?

The film loves reminding the audience that Neil Connery is not Sean, and in fact does it so often you almost wonder whether Neil was alright with the whole thing.

Beer Three

The villain’s sadistic plot is to capture an “atomic nucleus” to create a super magnet, which will be used to disable all mechanical objects on Earth, in order to hold the world hostage.  Forget the fact that an atomic nucleus doesn’t do what the filmmakers think it does, but the filmmakers just don’t know how magnets work.

Sheep
This is the point at which a reference could be made to a certain internet meme involving Magnets and a band who dress like clowns and act like assholes.                                     Fuck the Juggalos.

Beer Four

For a film featuring an army of sexy women, it is baffling that the one aspect of the Bond series this film misses out on riffing is Bond’s libido.  Neil Connery shows vague interest in the females who surround him, but the screenplay allows for no time to show him courting the ladies.  The women around him just kind of hang onto his arm and look pretty.

Screen Shot 2015-09-27 at 12.40.42 PM
Or just… weird?

Beer Five

Neil Connery is apparently both a master plastic surgeon and a master hypnotist, and the film loves to let him use his hypnotism skills.  It is a conceit which never ceases to feel like a lazy way of writing Connery out of sticky situations.

Beer Six

The film’s soundtrack features parodies of the James Bond theme, and is co-credited to Ennio Morricone.  Sadly, this does not feature as one of his career highlights.  I hope that the majority of the clunkier elements of the soundtrack are the responsibility of the other composer Bruno Nicolai. Otherwise, the Maestro clearly wrote this off as a quick paycheck.

Verdict

All the above issues considered, true-blue fans of the James Bond franchise should find endless hilarity from OK Connery, whether it be to mock the film’s ineptitude or for appreciation of the numerous inside references.

Six Pack

About Oberst von Berauscht

Oberst Von Berauscht once retained the services of a Gypsy to imbue in him the ability to accurately describe the artistic qualities of a film up to seven decimal points. To maintain this unique skill, he must feast on the blood of a virgin every Harvest Moon, or failing that (and he usually does), he can also make a dog do that thing they do where they twist their heads slightly (you know, when they're confused about something) at least a few times a week. I've gotten way off track here... The point is, Oberst is one of the website's founders, so... yeah

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