NAZIs at the Center of the Earth (2012)

NAZIs at the Center of the Earth (2012)
NAZIs at the Center of the Earth (2012) DVD / Blu-ray

By: Wonko The Sane (Four Beers) –
How many beers do you recommend for this movie?
1 Beer! A Toast! Great Movie!2 Beers! Good Movie!3 Beers! Okay Movie!4 Beers! Mediocre Movie!5 Beers! Awful Movie!6-Pack! Bad movie! Do not be Sober!

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A group of scientists at an Antarctic Research outpost set out to find one of their lost comrades only to discover a gigantic cave, which leads to an underground continent… WITH NAZIS.  The scientists are accompanied by Dr. Adrien Reistad (Jake Busey), who quickly reveals himself to be in league with the madmen.  As it turns out, if the research scientist you work with has a somewhat evil sounding name, is played by Jake Busey, and carries around flesh eating bacteria cultures, he is probably also a Nazi.

Dr. Joseph Mengele is the head of the secret Nazi project to re-take power, and  has devised a medical procedure to stave off death by using spare body parts from hapless victims.  This often results in a gruesome zombie-like appearance, as the grafted skin often doesn’t heal quite right.

Oh yeah, and they saved Hitler’s Brain.

One of the oldest, and best subgenres of science fiction…

A Toast

If you haven’t experienced the awesomeness of killin’ Nazis, just click this link and sin no more. (And if you’re reading this on a Mobile device, just download the free app).  The closer a B-Movie comes to resembling Wolfenstein 3-D, the better.

Beer Two

Jake Busey has made a whole career of taking jobs his father either turned down, or was too old to play.  And while he isn’t quite as “bag of cats” crazy as Gary, he holds his own.  Which begs the question, when will he and his father team up?

The combined strength of their teeth alone could end worlds…

Beer Three

This movie has tons of bloody B-level gore effects, and it is all wonderfully realized.  The plot itself is hokey, schlocky, and delightfully gruesome.  The Asylum has on occasion sold its audience a bill of goods (Sleeping Beauty, Almighty Thor, Transmorphers), so it is very satisfying when their movie delivers the exact right kind of awesome that is promised by the title, and the cover-art  (and I need to be fair, they get it right at least 2 times out of 5… which isn’t too terrible).  This is easily the most horrifying fun you’ll be likely to have direct-to video.

Beer Four

Mecha-Hitler

You see what I mean?

Verdict

Either a work of insane genius, or accidental genius… I’m not sure, but it is something to behold.

 

Bonus Drinking Game

Take a Drink: for the casual namedropping of a famous Nazi

Take a Drink: for made-up science lingo

Take a Drink: every time “Nazi” is said

Drink a Shot: for Mecha-Hitler

About Oberst von Berauscht

Oberst Von Berauscht once retained the services of a Gypsy to imbue in him the ability to accurately describe the artistic qualities of a film up to seven decimal points. To maintain this unique skill, he must feast on the blood of a virgin every Harvest Moon, or failing that (and he usually does), he can also make a dog do that thing they do where they twist their heads slightly (you know, when they're confused about something) at least a few times a week. I've gotten way off track here... The point is, Oberst is one of the website's founders, so... yeah

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