Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3 (1990)

Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3 (1990)
Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3 (1990) DVD/Blu-Ray

By: Ahmed Almatrook (Six Beers) –
How many beers do you recommend for this movie?
1 Beer! A Toast! Great Movie!2 Beers! Good Movie!3 Beers! Okay Movie!4 Beers! Mediocre Movie!5 Beers! Awful Movie!6-Pack! Bad movie! Do not be Sober!

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After watching  The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 and Texas Chainsaw 3DI pretty much gave up on the Texas Chainsaw Massacre (TCM) franchise. The original movie is one of my all time favorite movies. Unfortunately though, they decided to make like 10 billion sequels that ruined people’s perception of the first movie. But after watching TCM 2, I heard that there was another sequel, TCM 3. I decided to give it a go, since I thought that they would correct all the wrong aspects of the previous movie, but OH GOD was I wrong.

What we are talking about here is movie that’s so bad, it should be illegal to sell copies of it, so horrifying that it begs for apocalypse. TCM 3 is the holy grail of shitty horror flicks.  The story is fairly simple: two young adults get stuck while travelling through Texas, so they wander into the woods only to stumble upon Leatherface and his family of cannibals, aka the Sawyers

A Toast 

I honestly have nothing good to say about this movie. I’ll only congratulate it for further fucking up the good name of the original film.

Yeah, thanks a lot
Yeah, thanks a lot

Beer Two

TCM 3 is a masterpiece of shit; the plot just doesn’t add up. Leatherface is supposed to be dead. If we remember what happened to him in the second movie, he got a chainsaw rammed in his stomach and a grenade exploded right under the table he was standing on. Did I miss anything here; was Leatherface secretly revived through some blood sacrifice to Satan? Is there more than one Leatherface? I think not. This time he isn’t as shameful as he was in the second movie, but that’s not saying much; that’s like saying ” I ate a frozen turd last week, but the one I had this week has some ice cream sprinkles on it.” (why would anyone eat a frozen turd? Hmmm).

Looking at this picture makes me wanna take a chainsaw to the head
Looking at this picture makes me wanna take a chainsaw to the head

Beer Three

TCM 3 fails to produce some memorable characters. For example, in the first movie the whole Sawyer clan was memorable. In the second movie, Chop Top just stole the show. Whereas all we get from TCM 3 is horrible acting from all the actors and a “creepy” girl that was an obvious afterthought.

Beer Four

The movie’s soundtrack is one of the worst I’ve ever heard. The cinematography was bad. I honestly think that TCM 3 was made only because people had some excess cash to spend. It was a pointless movie.

Beer Five 

The main problem with TCM 3 is the movie was done the easy way. By using elements like blood, violence, and gore to scare the audience. Now, as a sequel, you’d think that they would learn from the mistakes of the second movie and try to make it more like the original film. Of course they didn’t. The raw camerawork, the “dry” feeling, the intimidating location, and the fucked up characters were all non-existent.

Beer Six

I forgot to mention that this movie was also intended to serve as a reboot to the franchise; well then, why is it called Texas Chainsaw Massacre THREE? Why didn’t they just call it The Texas Chainsaw Massacre? Besides, the original movie was already so well known, it didn’t need a reboot; it already established itself as a legendary horror flick.

i-smell-failure

Verdict

a6packbeer

For the love of Odin DON”T watch this movie.

Drinking Game

Do a Shot: for how shitty this movie is.

Take a Drink: for Caroline Williams’ cameo.

Take a Drink: if you gave up on the movie halfway through.

Do a Shot: every time someone dies.

About Ahmed Almatrook

Movie Buff residing in the small island of Bahrain. Still trying to figure out my Top 200 greatest movies of all time. Classic horror movie freak. Eager to review whatever movie I watch. I practically live at the cinema. Please feel free to comment on my posts. Movieboozer is a humor website and drinking games are intended for entertainment purposes only, please drink responsibly.

One comment

  1. Yeah, it really is sad what this franchise has become after such a great start.

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