Incall (2014) Movie Review: I Guess All “Happy Endings” Aren’t So Happy

Drinking Game

Take a Drink: before the start of the movie, you’re going to need it.

Take a Drink: every time Kasey snaps at his boss.

Take a Drink: for every travel book Kasey reads.

Do a Shot: for old men asking for “happy endings”.

Do a Shot: when you realize Kasey only has one facial expression.

Community Review

How many beers do you recommend for this movie?
1 Beer! A Toast! Great Movie!2 Beers! Good Movie!3 Beers! Okay Movie!4 Beers! Mediocre Movie!5 Beers! Awful Movie!6-Pack! Bad movie! Do not be Sober!

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Movie Review

By: Frankie B. (Six Pack) –

Incall is billed as a cult horror movie, which is why I initially agreed to watch it. “Cult horror movie” is a series of trigger words that will automatically make me want to watch something. I might want to start re-evaluating what I watch after being honeydicked by this movie.

Would rather get a "happy ending" with this instead of watching this movie again.
Would rather get a “happy ending” with this instead of watching this movie again.

Incall was written/directed by Brock Riebe. He also is the star of the movie, playing Kasey Keind, a debt collector who moonlights as a masseuse. He performs “incall” massages at his home (hence the name of the movie), and one session goes horribly wrong, ending with the death of one of his clients.

A Toast

The one great thing that I can say about the movie is that it eventually does end.

Ewwww. Old man vinegar strokes.
Ewwww. Old man vinegar strokes.

Beer Two

You may proceed directly to Beer Thee .

Palette Cleanser
Palette Cleanser

Beer Three

The character Marco (played by Ben Muller) is entertaining at times.  This is mainly due to the fact that he is the only character in the movie who realizes how ridiculous the premise of the movie is. He also is a mildly crafty criminal which gives a semblance of depth to the character.

Beer Four

Just drink the fifth beer right now.

Sweet salvation.
Sweet salvation.

Beer Five

This movie is two hours, twenty-two minutes, and forty-nine seconds long. Holy shit!! But the funny thing is that it feels at least twice that long as it has the pacing of a crippled sloth. Two hour movies are tough for seasoned directors to pull off, even with a talented cast. You could probably cut a solid hour and twenty minutes out of this movie and still get to the same place at the end. It would still be just as bad but at least you would get to that conclusion in less time.

Apparently this dude gets super pissed when you won't jerk him off.
Apparently this dude gets super pissed when you won’t jerk him off.

Beer Six

When billing your movie as a cult horror movie, you might want to make sure that there is at least one horror element in your movie. Maybe a singular jump scare, or that there is something actually at stake for the characters. Acting would also be a plus, as most of the characters have one or two expressions or are complete cartoon caricatures.

EMOTIONS!!!!
EMOTIONS!!!!

Verdict

I absolutely cannot recommend watching this. Watch cat videos on YouTube or watch literally anything else.

Six Pack

About Frankie B.

A kid from New York that fell in love with the magic of movies. Fascinated by every facet of the movie industry. Really love B-quality horror movies and psychological thrillers. Movieboozer is a humor website and drinking games are intended for entertainment purposes only, please drink responsibly.

3 comments

  1. If these losers dislike it I’m sure its GREAT.

    • Steven Burgassy? Is that you? I’d recognize that charming attitude and respectful tone anywhere! How ya been? How’re the kids? Great, great. See ya around!

    • Thanks for the feedback, you could always submit a counter-review if you have a different opinion of the movie.

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