By: Henry J. Fromage (Six Pack) –
Back in 1999, Vince Offer, before he would become the late night, basic cable legend that is “The ShamWow guy”, made Underground Comedy Movie, a shitacular “controversial” sketch comedy movie that fast became one of the poorest reviewed, and m0st hated films. Of. All. Time. Almost 15 years later, he somehow scraped together enough money to do it again.
An InAPPropriate Comedy isn’t really about anything in particular, unless I guess you count half-baked sketch ideas based on awful puns (just… wait) full of cut-rate stars that should be significantly more embarrassed than they appear to be. So, Movie 43, but Direct-to-DVD.
At a certain point, Stockholm Syndrome sets in, and you may even feel an unsolicited laugh escape at something like “Sperm Lake”. So, basically I’m saying, don’t watch this around your loved ones, unless they’ve got a little Jack Torrence action coming to them.
This movie starts with a 127 Hours joke. That’s appropriate on like five levels, none of which reflect nicely on the film. From there we discover why this was saddled with such an unwieldy, fucking headache to type of a title. ShamWow is holding a knockoff Laotian iPad with “apps” that he presses willy-nilly, yielding sketches. That’s what passes for a framing device in this film. Well, that and Lindsay Lohan earning her shot at the craft services table with roughly two minutes of screentime.
Fuck, just… fuck, Adrien Brody. Why, dude? I mean, Lohan is so uninsurable these days that this is all that’s left, and when Adam Sandler doesn’t even want you around anymore, the pickings must be slim (looking at you, Rob Schneider). And Michele Rodriguez… eh. Whatever, must have owed somebody a favor. But youngest Best Actor ever Adrien Brody? Fuck, dude.
As “Flirty Harry”? You’ve been replaced by a doppelganger/mortal enemy, haven’t you?
Yeah, you heard that right. Flirty. Harry. I swear I would have been nut-shotted for a pun that shitty way back in the 5th Grade. And I would have understood and taken my punishment like that little half-man that I was. Blackass? I sweeaarr you didn’t even come up with that, and it’s still a shitty idea. Isn’t that an Odd Future Adult Swim show or something?
When Tyler the Creator outclasses you, it’s time to reevaluate
The Amazing Racist. Now that’s something maybe 5th grade me would’ve been proud of. Four five seconds. The thing is, I would know better than to just use the moniker as an excuse to be racist. That’s all this segment is. Some no-name dribbling barely reheated centuries old racist jokes out of his mouth like the kind of diarrhea you’d get from eating out of a Taco Bell dumpster during a heat wave. I guess the ‘joke” is that he’s doing it to real people to see how they react…
…except most of the time he isn’t. The vast majority, if not all, of these segments are clearly staged, and therefore dreadfully unfunny, and spectacularly cowardly. Of course you’re not going to actually drive an “illegal immigrant” to a real U.S. Border Station unless you have Sacha Baron Cohen-size cajones, and even he probably would prefer not getting arrested for his stunts. So, why the fuck would you stage a “real” skit like this? Don’t you realize it just makes you look more racist?
If this part was real, a slow-clap to you, Justifiably Angry Black Man (7:20 is where you want to be)
So, I haven’t watched Movie 43, and I’m not sure if I’m ever going to bother. However, if it’s worse than this, I’ll devour myself like a goddam ouroboros.
And fill up in that Taco Bell dumpster first, too.
Take a Drink: whenever a joke struggles between being racist and being lame, then both win out
Take a Drink: whenever a punchline hits like a wet sack of cement
Take a Drink: whenever you see a star you didn’t know had a debilitating drug problem
Do a Shot: Adrien Brody won an Oscar for The Pianist. Now, see if you can erase his subsequent career from your memory with alcohol.
Last Call: Outtakes. Of course. If you’ve made it this far, this is what you deserve.