By: Frankie B. (Three Beers) –
80s horror movies are the shit. I don’t care what anyone says, I’d rather watch a schlocky 80’s horror movie than a big blockbuster movie any day. I have tried to watch C.H.U.D. on TV a whole bunch of times but could never watch it start to finish. Getting a review copy from Arrow Films certainly aided in my motivation to give watching it another try.
C.H.U.D. takes place in the early 80’s NYC, which apparently was a time where people living underground was a major concern. We get the Dad from Home Alone (John Heard) as a photographer with a penchant for pissing off the NYPD. We also get to follow around Marv (Daniel Stern) from Home Alone as a Reverend to the homeless of NYC. Toxic cannibals start snatching homeless people and the US government is somehow involved. Sounds a lot like a certain Troma production from the 80’s.
Despite what I have heard about this movie in the past, I loved the acting in this movie. John Heard, Daniel Stern, and Christopher Curry kill it in this movie. Good ol’ John Goodman also makes an over the top appearance as a beat cop who shamelessly hits on a waitress. Also all of the characters act weirdly rational for a B-level horror movie. I was half expecting to see a woman rip her shirt off shortly before being chased by a mutated cannibal. It just never happened and I was both disappointed and sad that it never happened.
Solid gore effects really balanced out the small amount of screen time for the monsters. The effects were really well done but the monsters could have had a bit more screentime. The mustache twirling villain also could have used some work, but it ended up really not being that big of a deal.
As a lover of all things B-movie I was really hoping for some really over the top gore and some ridiculous inappropriate nudity. Both of those aspects were sorely missed, but the movie wasn’t goofy at all so those things might not have fit in. One thing that was in the movie that made absolutely no sense was the pregnancy subplot; it made no sense at all. Maybe have a little mutant cannibal baby popping out in a delivery sequence at the end. Just saying.
C.H.U.D. is certainly not the worst movie you will ever see. It is not quite a B-movie and is certainly not a great movie. It just kind of hovers somewhere in between. Watch it, enjoy it, and then forget it.
C.H.U.D. (1984) Drinking Game
Take a Drink: every time the underground homeless people are mentioned.
Take a Drink: every time someone is tailed.
Do a Shot: whenever conspiracies are mentioned.
Do a Shot: when John Goodman appears.