Goosebumps (2015) Main Review: Family-Friendly Frights

Drinking Game

Take a Drink: for every hint of nostalgia.

Take a Drink: every time someone says “dummy”.

Do a Shot: for the not so subtle R. L. Stine cameo.

Finish your Drink: because you probably had to deal with some children while watching this one.

Community Review

How many beers do you recommend for this movie?
1 Beer! A Toast! Great Movie!2 Beers! Good Movie!3 Beers! Okay Movie!4 Beers! Mediocre Movie!5 Beers! Awful Movie!6-Pack! Bad movie! Do not be Sober!

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Movie Review

By: Movie Snurb (Three Beers) –

Zach and his mother move to Madison, Delaware.  The reason isn’t clear, but you’re lead to believe it has to do with his father passing away and they want a new start. Well of course they end up moving next to R. L. Stine and his Daughter Hannah. One night Hannah takes Zach on an adventure and they bond and develop feelings. Then the next night Zach thinks Stine is hurting Hannah, so Zach calls the cops but Hanna isn’t there. Then, the next night Zach calls his semi-annoying friend Champ (yes his name is Champion) and calls Stine pretending to be the cops to ask him to come to the station so he can break into his house and see if Hannah is ok. Well, one thing leads to another and all of the monsters from Stine’s books are unleashed upon the town and it’s up to the four of them to save it.

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A Toast

This is probably the first Jack Black performance I’ve enjoyed in a while. You can tell he has a lot of fun hamming it up as Stine, which makes for an enjoyable film. The R. L. Stine I remember was very nerdy and boring, but Black portrays him as proper and standoffish, which definitely makes his character much more enjoyable. It was also nice to see Black in a performance where he’s not a slob and yelling at everyone. Although, I do love the film Orange County, but that was before his typical performance was worn out.

Jillian Bell is also great as Zach’s aunt. Some people might not like her, but I haven’t met them. From Workaholics to 22 Jump Street I’ve enjoyed her in everything; she has such great comedic timing. Her part may be small but she steals every scene she’s in.

It was great to see all of the monsters we grew up with come alive and better than those super cheesy Goosebumps shorts they made in the 90’s. It was almost like ICabin in the Woods except nobody dies and it’s not as badass.  However, it’ll bring you right back to reading those books under your covers with the lights off.

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I don’t think this works in a kids movie.

Beer Two

I ended up seeing this film in 3D. I didn’t even realize this film was supposed to be in 3D. Well, it definitely did not need to be in 3D. I didn’t see one scene that was enhanced by 3D. The only reason it was in 3D was the filmmakers knew that kids would beg and annoy their parents to take them to see this film and bleed their parents of even more money.

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He’ll be the closest you come to experiencing 3D.

Beer Three

Warning, Spoilers Ahead for this beer. So, R. L. Stine’s daughter turns out to be a ghost. He created her because he was tired of being alone. I wondered why he didn’t write a girlfriend or wife but then remembered it is a kid’s movie. Well, of course the main character Zach starts to fall for her… after a few days, yeah, you read that right.

Anyway, to get all of the monsters back Stine has to write a book encompassing all of the monsters because Slappy destroys them all. Well, his daughter ends up getting sucked back in to the book. And Zach cries?!?! Come on! You knew her for three days! But wait! In the end you find out R. L. Siten wrote one last book and his daughter is back! Then Zach and Hannah kiss and are happy. But, what does he do when he’s like 30 and she’s still 16? I guess kids probably won’t think about that.

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If he always falls in love this fast life is going to be difficult for Zach

Verdict

As I sat in the theater surrounded by my own personal hell (tons of children) I was thinking: “what did I get myself into?” I fully expected to hate the film, but I was pleasantly surprised when the credits rolled. It’s definitely a family film, but it was nice that there wasn’t any really lowbrow humor like poop jokes. Families looking for a fun couple of hours should check this film out, just not in 3D.

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Dummies will always be creepy.

3beers

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