Gloria (2013)

Gloria_posterBy: Henry J. Fromage (Four Beers) –
How many beers do you recommend for this movie?
1 Beer! A Toast! Great Movie!2 Beers! Good Movie!3 Beers! Okay Movie!4 Beers! Mediocre Movie!5 Beers! Awful Movie!6-Pack! Bad movie! Do not be Sober!

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One of the more lauded Foreign Language Films of the year is this, a tale of an older divorcee who refuses to give up on love, and who still has plenty of energy for paintball and other young people stuff.

taye-diggs-1

Then Taye Diggs’s abs happen or something

A Toast

I was expecting typical crowd-pleasing fare, so I was pleasantly surprised to find a bit of real drama and an excellent, fearless (i.e., naked a lot… and pleasantly so) performance from Paulina Garcia.  This is her film, and she carries it excellently, coming off like a more pragmatic (so, realistic) Sally Hawkins from Happy Go Lucky.  There is also some good filmmaking on display here, particularly a late night binge with a gorgeous playground spinning wheel scene that ends up in pretty much the same place as Season 1 of Girls did.

girls-season-1

Sans cake

Beer Two

For far too long, nothing resembling a conflict happens.  Even the exes love each other’s company apparently.  Also, if the purpose of the conversations is to make you think less of these characters, mission accomplished.  They’re worse than teenagers, spouting inanities meant to impress each other.

Beer Three

When the conflict does come, everybody’s still acting like teens with a surfeit of hormones and a dearth of compassion and common sense.  Gloria’s boyfriend undisputedly pulls a dick move, but honestly she’s kind of a bitch, too, with her childish reliance on the silent treatment and passive-aggressive moves like dropping his phone in his soup.  I would have thought long and hard about ditching her ass at that point, too.

Beer Four

The aging and mortality symbolism is pretty belabored at times.

gloria-toy-skeleton

Subtlety, apparently

Verdict

4Beers

There’s some quality workmanship and particularly acting on display here, but if I wanted proof that many people never get past teenage bullshit in their relationships, five minutes on Facebook accomplishes the same thing.

 

Drinking Game

Take a Drink: whenever we’re reminded Gloria is lonely

Take a Drink: whenever the cat shows up (the physical manifestation of loneliness)

Take a Drink: for 70s music

Do a Shot: for old people sex, of course

About Henry J. Fromage

Movieboozer is a humor website and drinking games are intended for entertainment purposes only, please drink responsibly.

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