Give my Regards to Broad Street (1984)

GivemyregardsPosterBy: Oberst Von Berauscht & Bill Leon (Six Pack) –
How many beers do you recommend for this movie?
1 Beer! A Toast! Great Movie!2 Beers! Good Movie!3 Beers! Okay Movie!4 Beers! Mediocre Movie!5 Beers! Awful Movie!6-Pack! Bad movie! Do not be Sober!

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In case you weren’t aware, Paul McCartney is a moderately successful musician and singer/songwriter (and everybody loves him!).  One day, while finishing the recording of his next big release, good old “Macca” find’s his tapes stolen, possibly by a trusted associate. And if he doesn’t deliver the tapes by midnight, an evil corporation will take over his company! Will he find the tapes? Will he find a way to keep up with his busy schedule while doing it? Is the Capital of Nebraska Lincoln?

A Toast 

-Oberst: So, I’m faced with the challenge of saying something good about this movie… um… The song “No More Lonely Nights” is a pretty catchy AM single, as far as 80s Pop is concerned… And it is fascinating that McCartney used the song in at least 3 iterations throughout the film, as a recurring theme.  So… there… that…

-Bill L.: The “Silly Love Songs” sequence is a 5 minute space themed train wreck. It is so unabashedly 80s that a leather-clad break dancer comes out of nowhere and busts a move in the foreground. The sequence was so random and so baffling that I enjoyed it as I watched on like a deer caught in headlights… and at the end of it, Paul McCartney has his Beetlejuice bathrobe waiting for him. Score.

Beetlejuice?
Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice… Beetlej-Bowie?

Beer Two

-Bill L.: The soundtrack of this film is very predictable and without surprise or excitement. The performances are adequate and passable, but the songs they chose for this already exist with much more passionate performances behind them. “Yesterday” was flacid, “Eleanor Rigby” was tired and with “Silly Love Songs” I don’t even understand why they used a re-recorded version. McCartney seems much less passionate about this material than on the original recordings. Towards the end of the film, we get a small glimpse of how “Yesterday” could’ve been reinterpreted and it’s fun but at the same time just makes you wish the soundtrack was much more innovative.

McCartneyBusk
Pictured above: what a Billionaire defines as “failure”

-Oberst: I’m wondering if McCartney thought that he couldn’t afford to change up the songs because his fans would lose interest?  If so, I think that he forgot that these are the same “discerning” fans who made “Say, Say, Say” a hit, and consequently; whose opinions shouldn’t factor into artistic decisions.

Beer Three

-Oberst: At one point, the movie detours for a lengthy Victorian era sequence.  Is this supposed to represent McCartney’s fear of losing the tapes?  If so, what editor thought a 10 minute long aside to the (however tenuous) story was a good idea?

-Bill L.: It’s nothing but score! No dialogue-which is already a big problem in this movie when it comes to exposition. It’s like a short film made completely outside of this production. In no way, shape or form does this fit alongside anything in this movie… which considering how well the rest of it sits along side itself, admittedly isn’t saying much.

Screen Shot 2014-03-17 at 7.22.40 PM
Uh, yeah… what?

Beer Four

-Bill L.:  Much like the original The Hangover, the final reveal of where the guy has been is about as anti-climactic as it gets: He was locked in a room at a train station… No reason for it, no pay off. It’s like they realized they ran out of time and wrapped things up as quickly as possible. At least The Hangover had the decency of making me laugh before prematurely ejaculating its ending all over my face.

-Oberst: At best the resolution to the story is anticlimactic, a big F-you to the audience at worst.  Not that the missing tapes story was compelling (it wasn’t) but at least it was something to follow.

-Bill L.: Saying that the audience would take the ending as a ‘fuck you’ implies someone watching was invested in this story to begin with!

Beer Five

-Oberst: The scene near the end, in which McCartney walks aimlessly for four and a half minutes as the “No More Lonely Nights” song plays over it, is another failure of the editors, or McCartney as a screenwriter, or the Director, or everyone involved. I can imagine the conversation:

Director: “Now, we’re at the highest point of tension in the film, and you want to use your song, how are we gonna do this?”

Paul: “Well you know, I was kinda of thinking we’d just film me walking around the station while the song plays, and I could look morose and stuff.”

Director: “Hm, that seems a bit underwhelming, and doesn’t even fit with the song.”

Paul: “Well you know, I have a Billion Dollars in my bank account.”

Director: “Sold American!”

-Bill L.: There was no spacing in between the songs they played, anywhere in the movie… This whole goddamn movie was like a drive-by shooting! It hits you without warning, and in the aftermath, you’re still trying to sort out what you’ve just witnessed.

Beer Six

-Oberst: The entire plot rests on the audience’s belief that McCartney’s career and life is now tied with an evil corporation who threatens to take over his company if he doesn’t turn in his next record on time.  Are we to believe that McCartney is only one failure away from abject poverty?  If so, how exactly did he survive the release of this film?

-Bill L.: McCartney deals with this conflict by playing old songs, some damn near 20 years old; sometimes just playing in a studio, and sometimes creating elaborate music video sequences that go nowhere (“Ballroom Dancing” is a fever dream come to life).

Paul McCartney is not phased by the fact that he could be broke tomorrow.

Verdict

Six Pack

-Bill L.: This film is terrible anyway you slice it, but the lack of exposition was what left me utterly confused scene after scene. Like clockwork, this movie refuses to say what it’s doing, which creates a lot of problems when trying to comprehend what you’re actually seeing. However, it’s undeniable that no amount of exposition would make this horrendous collection of music videos any more tolerable.

-Oberst: Maybe if this was released as a compilation of music videos?  That way it would still suck, but in manageable doses.

 

Drinking Game

Take a Drink: for each musical sequence

Take a Drink: for each British celebrity cameo

Drink a Shot: for ballroom dancing… fuck that song

About Oberst von Berauscht

Oberst Von Berauscht once retained the services of a Gypsy to imbue in him the ability to accurately describe the artistic qualities of a film up to seven decimal points. To maintain this unique skill, he must feast on the blood of a virgin every Harvest Moon, or failing that (and he usually does), he can also make a dog do that thing they do where they twist their heads slightly (you know, when they're confused about something) at least a few times a week. I've gotten way off track here... The point is, Oberst is one of the website's founders, so... yeah

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