Friended to Death (2014)

friendedtodeathposterBy: Henry J. Fromage (Six Pack) –
How many beers do you recommend for this movie?
1 Beer! A Toast! Great Movie!2 Beers! Good Movie!3 Beers! Okay Movie!4 Beers! Mediocre Movie!5 Beers! Awful Movie!6-Pack! Bad movie! Do not be Sober!

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I wouldn’t call us Big Time over here at MovieBoozer just yet, but we did recently get in contact with a big PR agency who sent us over a screener for Friended to Death.  Since this agency represents a slate of really cool upcoming movies, the temptation is to take it easy on the flick regardless of quality, because I would love to receive a screener for Bad Johnson, which looks amazing.

GET RIGHT IN MY EYE HOLES!!!

Well, here’s hoping the next screener is better than Friended to Death.  Statistically speaking, it almost has to be.  The plot is about an annoying parking meter cop (Ryan Hansen- Party Down) who derives all of his self-worth from his social networking.  When somebody points out that Facebook friends aren’t the same thing as real friends, and his relationship with his childhood best bud seems to confirm that, he decides to fake his death using his friend’s Facebook account to Tom Sawyer himself and see if anyone gives a crap.  Shenanigans ensue.

A Toast

Well, Hansen’s certainly committed to his performance… As for the production values, it’s actually quite energetically and fetchingly shot, making the most of its L.A. setting, and I liked the soundtrack.  And when the film commits full-on to its weirdness, it can be pretty funny.

dog-pajamas

“They’re my Marley and Me’s!”

Beer Two

Unfortunately, the vast majority of the humor in the film is broader than the River Nile, and shallower than that dirty puddle out behind the 7-Eleven that never seems to dry out completely.

Beer Three

There are more induced groans from the jokes in this than in the Epic Meal Time Clubhouse the morning after Big Mac Lasagna Night.

friended-to-death2

Q: “Is munching a V gay?” A: “Well, it’s certainly crass and unfunny…”

Beer Four

Speaking of horrific McDonald’s-related metaphors, this movie’s social networking shtick is beaten first to death, and then into a fine pink puree of script lips and assholes.

Beer Five

Insult and shock comedy has to be clever to work… not just (mildly) insulting and inappropriate.  Having the Mexican cleaning lady squeal an off-key rendition of “La Cucaracha” doesn’t really qualify.

Beer Six

I’ll leave the plot alone, although I do have to ask why anyone would consider spending 12K to cover up a Facebook prank.  The main complaint I have is that not a single character is a recognizable human being, except maybe his old best friend, who you can’t help feeling sorry for, either for his character’s predicament or because he was cast in this film.  Everyone else is a shrill approximation of a stereotype.

Verdict

6beers

Friended to Death is pretty dire, but as we here at MovieBoozer espouse the great equalizer of Beer, I wouldn’t discourage ya from grabbed a six pack and giving it a spin the next time you see it on Netflix or VOD.

 

Drinking Game

Take a Drink: for every tweet or status update

Take a Drink: for every ticket written or referred to

Take a Drink: whenever Hansen pops in a piece of gum

Take a Drink: whenever his dead parents come up

Take a Drink: every time the Unambiguously Gay Duo show up

friended-to-death-3

High Five, Brah!

Do a Shot: whenever an actor reacts to their own joke to make sure you “get it”

About Henry J. Fromage

Movieboozer is a humor website and drinking games are intended for entertainment purposes only, please drink responsibly.

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