A Fantastic Fear of Everything (2014)

a fantastic fear of everything-main-reviewBy: Katherine Balestrini (Five Beers) –
How many beers do you recommend for this movie?
1 Beer! A Toast! Great Movie!2 Beers! Good Movie!3 Beers! Okay Movie!4 Beers! Mediocre Movie!5 Beers! Awful Movie!6-Pack! Bad movie! Do not be Sober!

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A film about a children’s book writer who wants to do something a bit more ‘juicy’ so turns to Victorian crime and begins to write a book on a very dark time in history.

Jack then begins to believe that everything is trying to get him and has hallucinations, turning his already sticky, disgusting life to shit.

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A classic story, and far more entertaining than A Fantastic Fear of Everything

A Toast

Simon Pegg is in it and wears tiny y fronts for most of the movie, which I think is the only thing funny in the movie.

Not entirely sure what this film was trying to do, scare me away from the TV? No screen bigger than 24 inches should ever show this movie.

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This is not a picture of Simon Pegg in y fronts, but I prefer this one!

Beer Two

Just the fact that it is a British film makes me sad, taking British movies back to a time when they were a waste of film. The British film industry has to try hard to rid its name of terrible films and this movie does not help! Alfred Hitchcock would turn over in his grave if he had to see this.  It’s just a bad film, with bad cinematography to boot.

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They don’t nor shouldn’t make movies like this anymore!

Beer Three

There is no overacting, which actually could have saved this movie. The B movie quality that it is going for even fails. It’s just a poor script and is really just using the fan base of Simon Pegg (I know it must be a bunch of weirdos eating cornettos, but they’re out there) to make a movie.

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Simon looking hurt that I didn’t like his movie… He should hear what I think about Paul!

Beer Four

The fact that the filmmakers managed to make this last 1 ½ hours is a tribute to how people can get caught up in an idea and run with it. At most this should have been a YouTube video.

Beer Five

No one will get a job from this except possibly on an ‘alternative’ channel. It’s bleak, boring, and to be honest a real waste of the talented Mr Pegg. Maybe it was a movie he had to promise to make if Shaun of the Dead was a success or a bet he made if he ever got to be in a Star Trek movie. But as a person who enjoys a good movie, some advice for our Simon: be careful which films you make or you could be back on Channel 4 (British TV’s alternative channel) in no time!

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At least Spaced was funny!

Verdict

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I do not condone being wasted, but if you HAVE to watch this film I highly recommend you do it drunk. Drunker than a skunk who has been at a bar for 5 days straight and is beginning to think he smells good.

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Drinking Game

Take a Drink: every time you see a pair of y fronts (underwear) on or off Jack

Take a Drink: every time he is scared of something

Do a Shot: when he gets tasered and you realise that the film might be over soon

Do a Shot: every time you think of something better you could be doing.

About Katherine Balestrini

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