Deadpool (2016) Movie Review: The Review Kyle Regretted Asking For

Drinking Game

Take a Drink: every time Deadpool breaks the Fourth Wall… but if you want to black out in the first 10 minutes…

Take a Drink: every time someone says, “Fuck”

Take a Drink: every time someone gets killed

Do a Shot: if you make it through the movie using those last two rules. Oh, and the obligatory Stan Lee cameo.

Community Review

How many beers do you recommend for this movie?
1 Beer! A Toast! Great Movie!2 Beers! Good Movie!3 Beers! Okay Movie!4 Beers! Mediocre Movie!5 Beers! Awful Movie!6-Pack! Bad movie! Do not be Sober!

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Movie Review

By: Kyle Daley (A Toast) –

He is a man who goes by many names.  Some know him as the “Merc with the Mouth.”  Others call him “The Regenerating Degenerate.” However, most tend to call him “A royal pain that won’t shut up.”  I am talking about none other than Marvel Comics’ most popular rip off of DC Comics’ Deathstroke.  A man known as Dea….

comes

Aaaahhh!!!! Crap, Deadpool!  You scared the shit out of me!  What are you doing here and why?

"You're doing a review of MY movie, and you don't expect your old buddy Wade Wilson to show up? C'mon, Daley. You've been reading my comics for years and saw me do this to the Death Battle guys. Should'a seen this one coming."
“You’re doing a review of MY movie, and you don’t expect your old buddy Wade Wilson to show up? C’mon, Daley. You’ve been reading my comics for years and saw me do this to the Death Battle guys. Ya should’a seen this one coming.”

Wait…why do you look all real and not like a drawing from a comic book now?

"You keep on relying on stealing images from Google and Marvel Unlimited app. It's okay dude. Lots of people can't draw and you really wanted stretched to make some fourth wall joke. But shame on you. Those artists at Marvel need to get you picture thief!"
“You keep on ‘borrowing’ images from Google and the Marvel Unlimited app. It’s okay, dude. Lots of people can’t draw or use photoshop and you really tried to make this fourth wall joke work. But shame on you Mr. Man! Those artists at Marvel need to get paid you fucking Thomas Crown of the nerdy funny pictures!”

Ugh! I don’t NEED nor do I WANT you here right now!

dreams

Look, dude, I need to finish this review.  Can you please just go somewhere else for a bit?  We’ll get chimichangas later?

"Dude, you know how this goes. I'm the Merc with the Mouth and you've been wanting to review this movie forever! I just want to make sure you do a good job. So there's nuthin' you can do to get me to leave or shut up. Nope. Not a goddamn thing."
“Bro, you know how this goes. I’m the Merc with the Mouth and you’ve been wanting to review this movie forever!  You even emailed Henry J. Fromage being all, ‘Please let me review the movie!  I’ll make it worth your while!’ I just want to make sure you do a good job telling the people of my awesome, badass, cancer-ridden sexiness on screen!  I will accept nothing less than absolute perfection. So there’s nuthin’ you can do to get me to leave or shut up. Nope. Not a goddamn thing.”

…Due to Marvel’s moronic selling of certain movie rights to Fox Studios, and the fact both companies hate each other, there may never be a Spider-Man/Deadpool team-up to hit theaters.

IMG_1959

OH MY GOD…..

That actually worked!  I better get this done before his healing-factor kicks in. Without further delay, this is Deadpool.

A Toast

It’s a basic revenge plot.  Wade Wilson becomes an unstoppable killing machine by being tricked into thinking some crazy science can cure his cancer.  Then bad guys who turned him into said killer capture his girlfriend so he has to go save her.  The plot is pretty standard, and the villains are fun at times, but don’t really stand out.

However, that is all made up due to the fact that Ryan Reynolds absolutely kills it as the Merc with the Mouth.  He does nothing but talk and break the fourth wall while hacking bad guys to bits with blood and guts everywhere.  Not all lines in this movie are funny, but there are more than enough pop culture references and in-jokes that land.  And when they’re funny, they are downright hilarious.  Almost as if he is channeling some more perverted version of his Van Wilder performance, Reynolds does nothing but spew one-liners that make you want to pay attention in fear of missing one of Deadpool’s trademark quips of hilarity.

The movie isn’t afraid to get serious either.  The torture scenes are pretty intense, and despite that the bad guys in this film might not be the best, they do at least manage to make the audience feel like they are some kind of sick and demented group of mad scientists trying to take control of other humans.  Also, the romance between Deadpool and Vanessa (Morena Baccarin) is strong enough to keep the plot line going and help put the viewer in Wade’s place when it comes to feeling the need to save her from harm.

Then comes the best part: the action.  Oh. My. God!  It’s full of enough flips, martial arts, gun play, sword brandishing, and gore to satisfy anyone’s inner psycho. The movie only has about 4-6 set pieces, but makes good use of them and the cinematography mixes well with the choreography of the fight scenes, leading to a non-stop action thrill ride.  Oh, and did I mention the gore?  The R-Rated earning gore?

Verdict

"Come on, Kyle. They just read how awesome you think it is. You can just wrap this up."
“Come on, Kyle. They just read how awesome you think it is. You can just wrap this up.”

Ugh, fine, Wade.  I’m almost done.

This movie just might be the best comic to screen adaptation of a character I have ever seen.  Yeah, the villains aren’t the most interesting and the plot is pretty standard, but that doesn’t really matter.  Any Deadpool fanboy will tell you the best part of any story involving the character isn’t really the plot, it’s the way he interacts with the other people around him.  Ryan Reynolds gives what is without a doubt the best performance I have witnessed of his.  Some reviews have called this movie “a game changer” as far as superhero movies are concerned, and I’m inclined to agree.  I’m really hoping that Deadpool will help usher in a new era of R-Rated comic book movies.  Something for the adult audience.  Finally, this movie is a must see for anyone who is a fan of Deadpool.

There, Wilson, was that good enough for you?

"Oh it was better than good, Kyle. It was fanfuckingtastic. Now why don't you come over here and let me give you a nice, big reward, Deadpool style?"
“Oh it was better than good, Kyle. It was fanfuckingtastic. Now why don’t you come over here and let me give you a nice, big reward, Deadpool style?”

I’m assuming “Deadpool style” doesn’t involve just a thank you card and a free copy of the Blu-ray when it comes out.

"Oh it was better than good, Kyle. It was fanfuckingtastic. Now why don't you come over here and let me give you a nice, big reward, Deadpool style?"
“Well, that all depends on what you’re into, big boy.”

…You’ll have to excuse me, Deadpool.  I left a…food in the oven.  (Go see the movie folks, but avoid the actual Deadpool at all costs.  He’s more annoying than Wolverine lets on).

Deadpool_Chair
“Hey while you’re out, get me some chimichangas!  And some tissues!  Your review was so moving I’ll need them to wipe away my tears and unmentionable bodily fluids!  Kyle? Kyle?…He’s not coming back is he?”

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About Kyle Daley

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