A Deadly Adoption (2015) Movie Review: So Dry It’s Genius

Drinking Game

Take a Drink: for artificial “magic hour’ filter

Take a Drink: for sinister glances (and music cues)

Take a Drink: for corny “jokes”

Take a Drink: for “foreshadowing” and “symbolism”

Do a Shot: it’s a twist!

Community Review

How many beers do you recommend for this movie?
1 Beer! A Toast! Great Movie!2 Beers! Good Movie!3 Beers! Okay Movie!4 Beers! Mediocre Movie!5 Beers! Awful Movie!6-Pack! Bad movie! Do not be Sober!

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Movie Review

By: Henry J. Fromage (Three Beers) –

How do I even review this movie?  A Lifetime Movie starring Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig in which they play their characters 99.9% dead seriously?  A film engineered to be unironically the most Lifetime movie ever made?

CT MET-AJ-DREW-PETERSON-0120

As tough as this would be to beat…

Ferrell and Wiig play a married couple who tragically lose their baby in a dock accident.  Later, when a lovely young pregnant lady (Jessica Lowndes) offers the adoption her baby, it seems their prayers have been answered… or is it their nightmares?

A Toast

This shit is genius, or at least I’m almost certain it is.  A great deal of craftsmanship has clearly been put into appearing entirely craftless, from the not quite recycled establishing shots to the overbearing musical cues to the “symbolism” of shooting everything happy with Thomas Kincaid-levels of fake magic hour sheen and everything scary portentously dark.   I particularly loved how the sick little girl coughs a couple of times and that’s it for symptoms, or the clearly adult stunt double they chose for her.  This subtly unsubtle fucking of film language and continuity has to be a hilarious creative choice…

a-deadly-adoption-2

… right?

The script is so perfectly banal.  It really must be difficult deliver something so subtext-free.  Just about all exposition is delivered via dialogue, as is the obligatory dimestore psychology.  It’s all just… spot on.  Lowndes is the real revelation here, showing a proficiency for delivering camp with a straight face that will hopefully open a lot of comedy doors for her in the future.

Beer Two

Strangely, Wiig and Ferrell’s presence may be the weakest link.  While they’re both enjoyably droll, their comic reputations almost serve as a distraction.  Of course, without them, would anyone have ever guessed this was all intentional?

Beer Three

It’s hard to keep up the steam of the first act, and the second starts to wear…

…wait, Director Rachel Goldenberg is from The Asylum?

Paranormal Entity (2009)

I don’t know what is real anymore

Verdict

I can only imagine the sensation this would’ve been if Wiig and Ferrell’s original plan to tell nobody and just let viewers randomly encounter this while channel surfing had worked.  Regardless, this is a comic (?) experience that must be had to be believed.

3beers

About Henry J. Fromage

Movieboozer is a humor website and drinking games are intended for entertainment purposes only, please drink responsibly.

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