Take a Drink: for every attempted sexual assault
Take a Drink: for every murder of an attempted rapist
Drink a Shot: every time the same awful synth score kicks in
Drink a Shot: for the Ass knife
By: Oberst Von Berauscht (Six Pack) –
Dangerous Men tells the story of Mina, whose life is turned upside down when bikers murder her fiancé and attempt to rape her. Something snaps in Mina, and she soon begins actively searching the streets for sleaze-bags that she can tempt into an attempted assault, only to murder them brutally.
The Police investigate the murders and are hot on the trail of Mina, as well as gang leader Black Pepper, who may have had some association with Mina’s fiancé’s death.
Editor’s Note: “may”
Allegedly 26 years in the making, Dangerous Men was created by Iranian filmmaker John S. Rad, whose goal was to create the ultimate experience in action and suspense filmmaking, a film that would be infinitely re-watchable. In this regard he succeeds, as Dangerous Men is something to behold… Perhaps not in the way you might expect.
For starters, the editing is completely erratic, scenes flash in and out with little regard for coherence, and music cues rarely have any resemblance to screen logic. As an example, the film’s focus seems to be on Mina and her murderous rampage, but roughly halfway through begins to focus on a police investigation of gang leader “Black Pepper”, who is not referenced beforehand in any way whatsoever.
The second victim of Mina’s rage is Not John Cleese, a British man who she hitchhikes with. Mina falls asleep in the car, and Not John Cleese wastes no time deciding that she’s gotta be raped. This is because in the world of Dangerous Men all men are likely rapists…
And when Mina gets the best of Not John Cleese, she makes him strip down, and sends him walking aimlessly through the desert in a sequence played for comedic effect, and which eventually gets the better of Not John Cleese’s sanity.
It is bad enough that the prop guns in Dangerous Men are mostly black-painted water pistols. But did the director have to cut to an extreme close-up of this?
We are then introduced to Black Pepper, the Biker gang leader who hires gypsies to dance for him and his girlfriend at his house, to put him in the mood.
Following an incredibly lengthy belly-dancing session, Black Pepper and his girl begin the world’s most fascinating dry-humping session. I say this from a purely clinical perspective, as the sex scene is nothing if not a study in how not to perform in bed…
As leader of a biker gang of rape-thugs, you’d think that Black Pepper would be able to hold his own in a fight, but when Police Chief Not-Stan Lee is on the case, no criminal mastermind is too cunning…
Upon being cornered by the police, Black Pepper wanders into the home of a blind woman, who manages to hold him off with a gun long enough for police to arrive, arrest him, and freeze-frame for the closing credits.
With a plot that is nearly incomprehensible, performances which border on the absurd, and editing/direction that is absolutely incoherent, you’d think Dangerous Men would be a hard movie to watch. In truth, the results are something magical, the kind of failure that has to be seen to be believed, and will have you laughing for ages.