Bachelor Party (1984)

Bachelor Party Movie Poster

By: Rob Perez (Two Beers) –
How many beers do you recommend for this movie?
1 Beer! A Toast! Great Movie!2 Beers! Good Movie!3 Beers! Okay Movie!4 Beers! Mediocre Movie!5 Beers! Awful Movie!6-Pack! Bad movie! Do not be Sober!

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Forget Castaway, Saving Private Ryan, or Captain Phillips. Before all of that, Tom Hanks starred in what is arguably one of the greatest comedies of all time, Bachelor Party. Noted for its silliness, frat house humor, and one dead donkey, Bachelor Party remains Tom Hanks’ greatest role . . . before he decided to get serious about his acting career. Bleh!

Houston, this is Captain Phillips. Have you seen where my sense of humor has gone?
Houston, this is Captain Phillips. Have you seen where my sense of humor has gone?

A Toast

I first saw this film 30 years ago when I was nine years old and I can honestly say no other comedy in the same sub-genre has come close to reaching the bar Bachelor Party placed. From The Hangover to Bridesmaids, none has the crassness or charisma of Bachelor Party. Seriously, when’s the last time you saw an R-rated comedy where two hookers accidently show up to a bachelorette party and perform a twisted lesbian show? Or what about the last time you saw a guy hit a girl and it was funny as hell? Or the last time you saw a chick having simulated sex with a donkey? Or see that same donkey overdose on pills and coke? And then there are the naked Japanese business guys about to have their way with a sexually starved socialite, the pimp that looks like Gandhi, the naked guy dangling off the building, and the insane amount of tits everywhere you look. For a nine year old kid, this was a really crude awakening which would result to his current life writing blue reviews for many naughty websites and other fine gentlemen’s magazines years later. Gawd is he thankful!

Every guy grab a girl and we can get this orgy started.
Every guy grab a girl and we can get this orgy started.

Tom Hanks is Rick with an insanely hot girlfriend named Debbie (Tawny Kitaen) who as Rick puts it, is about to go pro much to his buddy’s disgust and disbelief. But his best friend O’Neil (Adrian Zmed) comes up with the fabulous idea of throwing a bachelor party “with chicks and guns and fire trucks and hookers and drugs and booze.” Debbie, who’s a pretty level-headed chick, knows what Rick and his friends are capable of but she trusts Rick enough not to engage in the sexual debauchery that bachelor parties are known for. Meanwhile her ex-boyfriend Cole is willing to offer Rick everything from a Cuisinart, steak knives, Michelin tires to even his Porsche just to get back with Debbie. On the night of the bachelor party all hell breaks loose as it becomes a plethora of everything Debbie feared it would be; a modern day Roman orgy Caligula would even be disgusted by. It’s every guy’s dream bachelor party and Bachelor Party certainly contains the spirit of all those 80’s R-rated comedies but does it with such a likable cast, likable characters, and a story that is free from any morality tale and pretension. It is the perfect R-rated comedy from the 80’s starring a man who would go on to become a two-time Academy Award winner in a winning role that defined raunchiness. DISCLAIMER: No donkey’s were harmed in the filming of this movie.

Who ordered the donkey from room service
Who ordered the donkey from room service?

Beer Two

Let me make this perfectly clear, this film is as perfect a comedy as you can get. The only reason I’m giving it two beers is because you’ll want to have a couple of beers while enjoying this star-making vehicle. If you want to see Tom Hanks at his 80’s best, this is the only movie to pick up. You can’t go wrong when you have such great movie quotes such as the following: “You’re the pimp? You look like Gandhi.” “Is it Nick or Mr. Dick?” “I think you’re an asshole.” “She pees standing up!” “Did somebody order an asshole from room service?” “Gentlemen, a toast . . . to girls with big tits!” “I just bet my balls and shook on it.” “’Is that the foot long?’ ‘And then some.’”

That donkey is totally going to regret doing those lines a couple of minutes from now.
That donkey is totally going to regret doing those lines a couple of minutes from now.

Verdict

2beers

Give me Bachelor Party any day, all day and twice on Sunday over Forrest Gump, Philadelphia, Green Mile, That Thing You Do (how did that one make the list) and Saving Mr. Banks. To see what a star Tom Hanks will become from his humble beginnings, forget all that serious dramatic stuff. You can’t go wrong with Bachelor Party, which Hanks has said in interviews he is proud of this film. When it comes to 80’s R-rated comedies, Bachelor Party is the decade’s magnum opus.

 

Drinking Game

Do a Shot: when you hear Nick the Dick’s penis make a loud thumping noise when it hits the ground.

Do a Double: when the Twins of Pleasure do their lesbian show at Debbie’s shower, marking the only time in movie history an entire group of women are disgusted by a lesbian show.

Take a Drink: when Cole is hanging naked from the building and moons the unsuspecting newlyweds.

Have a Beer and a Shot: when the stripper begins having simulated sex with a donkey.

Spill your Drink to the Ground in Memoriam: when the donkey overdoses and the guys leave its corpse in the elevator.

About Rob Perez

I come from Long Island, NY where I was born, raised and currently still live. I grew up with New York City literally right next door to me where I get to experience everything great about the greatest city in the world, anytime I want to. Look me up especially if your film tastes are in sync with mine. I enjoy comedies, sci-fi, action, spy thrillers, indie films, just about anything with a decent plot. I've been reviewing music and films for 15 years and I'm looking forward to sharing my thoughts with MovieBoozer.com.

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