Avatar (2009)

Drinking Game

Take a Drink: whenever Stephen Lang reminds you of R. Lee Ermey

Take a Drink: anytime you hear the word “Unobtainium”

Take a Drink: anytime something is glowing.

Do a Shot: anytime you think about turning the movie off.

Community Review

How many beers do you recommend for this movie?
1 Beer! A Toast! Great Movie!2 Beers! Good Movie!3 Beers! Okay Movie!4 Beers! Mediocre Movie!5 Beers! Awful Movie!6-Pack! Bad movie! Do not be Sober!

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Movie Review

By: MovieBoozer (Six Pack) –

I have, in fact, been waiting to write about this movie. I wanted to wait until I was in a pretty great mood (which I am) and until just after I had written about a movie which I really love, which coincidentally, I just did. I wanted these situations to be all set up, so that I could accurately, and intelligently… rip it to shreds. ‘Cause it sucked.

My favorite Quote?  Sky People cannot learn, they do not see.

I am mostly frustrated by how popular it is.  Did I miss something? Wait… did I maybe see the wrong movie?

A Toast

I need to be sure I keep my feelings about this movie, and about its impact, separate. Because they are very different. I will say this (and then I will rip it apart) it was visually impressive, it would change film-making forever, and has shown movie-makers the way of the future and that the possibilities with computer technology and digital imaging are really limitless.

Avatar 1

Beer Two

Now that being said… what a piece of garbage. The acting in this film was atrocious. The plot I will allow, because what the hell, right, it’s science fiction, so fine. The action was decent, but it wasn’t real action, all computers, so let’s not act like “how did they do such interesting blah blah blah.” I guess the frustration really is more with the effect this movie has had.

Beer Three

Avatar is about a futuristic society that has found a way to grow replicas of an indigenous species on this new planet. The inhabitants, called the Navi, are impressive in size, stature, and ability. The scientists at the helm of this project are each able to connect to one of these carrier bodies and go out among the society on this planet, in an attempt to study and learn more about what’s going on, and how humans could benefit.

Add in the whole greedy American-type military leader, a bunch of dudes with huge guns and bad attitudes, and Michelle Rodriguez flying a massive helicopter. Honestly folks, nothing special. A halfway decent science fiction film, with some decent action, that I really don’t ever need to see again.

Beer Four

What drives me crazy is the way this stupid thing was so wildly popular, and has made more money then any other film ever made, all while being so poorly done. I guess at the end of the day, the problem is… this movie was just a huge ripoff. I know everything copies everything, but this one really takes the cake. This one is a total ripoff, let me tell you. Let’s talk about a few other movies now.

The first one is called Dances With Wolves, and it was awesome. It is about a soldier who is past his prime and down on his luck who gets a detail that others might not see as a great opportunity, but he plans to enjoy it as best he can and take full advantage. He is thrust into a new society and must adapt to it, receiving only hostility and aggression from it. In time, he is welcomed into the ranks and a new way of living, and becomes a part of a family that he had only seen through the eyes of an attacker previously. At the end of the film, the time comes to make a stand and choose the side that he knows is right. Now part of this society, he stands against his former comrades to fight for what he believes is right. He’s a white guy… by the way, the other people aren’t white guys.

Avatar 3

Beer Five

Ok, now let’s talk about another movie… The Last Samurai, also pretty awesome. Please re read Dances with Wolves paragraph above….  

Avatar 2

Ok great, now finally, Avatar, which is super lame. Please re read Dances with Wolves paragraph above. 

You see what I’m driving at?

 Beer Six

I’m just sick and tired of hearing about what a great mind James Cameron has. I am thankful for Aliens, and for the first two Terminator films. James Cameron can go away now, though. Those were a long time ago.

I am just saying, Avatar didn’t even have ONE original idea, except to use some computers and 3-D, oh, wait a second. Riiiiight… not original either.

Verdict

Really Sigourney Weaver?

Forget it, I can’t even touch this one. She get’s a pass because she is Ripley, and also because when I typed the word “Ripley” into Google, that picture came up right away. She deserves a paycheck now and again.

I hated this movie, and I hated how much money it made. Movies like this are the reason I started to blog. I know I am a small-timer, and hey, there are a million other dudes out there writing about movies, some of them are really good too, and I am happy they are out there. I hope, specifically with American film-making being the way it is, that everybody has a friend who is nuts about movies, and came help point them in a direction they might not be aware of already. That’s all, nothing special, just hoping we can throw you a line.

Everybody should see it, so you can all help me speak about it. Good movies are still made, every year. This film represents the ways that good movies and good acting are harder to find these days. They have all been cashed in for 3-D glasses, fireworks, and popcorn. In fact, don’t eat any popcorn while you watch Avatar. Take a stand.

Six Pack

About MovieBoozer Staff

International Network of Volunteers, Movie Buffs, and Lushes. Movieboozer is a humor website and drinking games are intended for entertainment purposes only, please drink responsibly.

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