Take a Drink: for every mention of the “Pym Particle”, “Phantom Zone”, “Ant-Man”, and “Baskin Robbins always finds out”.
Do a Shot: for each waffle and Pym punch.
Take a Sip: whenever daddy issues pop up (literally and figuratively).
Pour a Little Out: for Antony. You’ll know when.
Do a Shot: for every chain-of-events story by Luis.
Take a Drink: anytime shit goes full-on Alice in Wonderland (excluding Ant-Man and Yellow Jacket). Hint: Thomas the Train.
By: Felix Felicis (A Toast)-
Dear Paul Rudd, your eyes are like pooly pools of love. Your face makes sounds I like and it moves around in a way that excites and amazes! The newfangled word I’ve heard on the streets is “acting” and you do it real nice! This new movie you’re in, Ant-Man, really accentuates your shirtlessness in a way that highlights dem abs, boy. I’m pretty sure you’re aging in reverse, like a totally boneable Benjamin Button. In conclusion, please keep up the good work and lift the restraining order… Please?
Ant-Man follows a recently-released-from-prison-expert-thief Scott Lang (Paul Rudd) as he struggles to make it on the straight-and-narrow road to rebuilding his life, and relationship, with his estranged daughter. Aided by an unlikely trio of not-so-ex-cons and a mysterious mentor (one Michael Douglas as Hank Pym), Scott tackles problems both big and *lowers shades* SMALL on the way to redemption via an action-packed detour where he’s challenged to save the world… One quantum shrink at a time.
Ant-Man marks the end of Marvel’s phase two and goes out with a quietly sardonic, yet totally kickass (and utterly brilliant) bang; setting the stage for phase three and Captain America: Civil War. With as many problems as Ant-Man had getting to silver screens across the globe (being a work in progress for nearly a decade, swapping directors at zero hour, etc.) the fact that this more obscure Marvel character flick swung for the fences –and hit a grand slam- is nothing short of miraculous. Not unlike that one time I accidentally listened to a Taylor Swift song and DIDN’T GET DUMBER (trust me, though, it was a close call).
Paul Rudd (in addition to having a deftly genius hand in beefing up the sly and witty script) absolutely embodies the unique, deadpan humor of Lang’s naturally charismatic everyman with savoir-faire flair. In simpler terms, Paul Rudd takes Scott Lang and nails every facet of the character in a whirlwind of quirky, yet surprisingly badass, charm. Not to mention the entire ensemble cast meshes together incredibly well, shout-out to Michael Pena’s scene-stealing ex-con, Luis, who (every time he opens his mouth) generates the world’s first perpetual laughter machine… I’m not kidding, I was literally dying the entire time he was onscreen. My ghost is writing this as we speak.
There were, however, infinitesimally small flaws if you looked hard enough (though there’s barely time in-between slickly hilarious yet tight action scenes). One being that Paul Rudd gelled so well with the trio of sidekick ex-cons (in addition to Michael Pena’s inside-man “Luis” we had T.I.’s getaway driver “Dave” and David Dastmalchian’s tech whiz “Kurt”) that the segment in the middle comprised mostly of Hank Pym, Scott Lang, and Hope van Dyne (a spectacular Evangeline Lilly), while still great, somehow felt ever-so-slightly lacking without the rest of the chain gang… Plus, the Avengers tie-in scene with The Falcon (Anthony Mackie) was minutely jarring, taking you out of the engaging Ant-Man solo action for a minute in a franchise shoehorn geared toward lining up cinematic dominoes for the next run.
The brilliant action, laugh-out-loud humor, and slick contemporary style guarantees that Ant-Man, despite tiny quirks, is worth the price of admission every day, all day. More entertaining by far than last month’s Avengers: Age of Ultron (forgive me, Joss Whedon, for taking thy name in vain), Ant-Man avoids piling on too much and gets it exactly, brilliantly, right with just enough of everything to satisfy comic-book aficionados and regular fans alike.
Ant-Man is the best Marvel movie since Guardians of the Galaxy blew through town. Take a break from bedazzling those jean jackets and get your ass in a seat. Pronto.
Last Call: There are two bonus scenes (one mid-credits and one post-credits), so stay in those seats for a sneak peak Marvel treat!