The Bachelorette: A pre-cap recap!

By: Jenna Zine (A Toast) –

Becca Kufrin’s journey to find everlasting loooooove begins Monday, May 28th and, in anticipation, I’ve whipped up a quick recap to remind you why we here a MovieBoozer are rooting for BKoof, and why this won’t be the most dramatic season ever…

A Toast

Hello, recap fans! It’s almost time for another installment of the Bachelor franchise – this time with a lovely lady at the helm. Who is the next Bachelorette? Well, let’s reach all the way back to March of this year for a refresher. That’s when we watched Bachelor Arie Luyendyk Jr. propose to Becca Kufrin… only to change his mind weeks later and dump her at their secret hideout. What followed was nothing short of a public emotional evisceration of epic proportions, as Arie relentlessly followed Becca around their rented retreat and Becca tearfully begged him to leave her alone – all caught on camera, in real time. Nothing like a televised breakup to make a gal’s self-esteem soar! Woot.

In doing so, Arie sealed his reputation as the douche we always knew him to be (he hightailed it over to runner-up Lauren Burnham – aka the beige ghost – to beg forgiveness. She took him back and they are still together). And Becca became Bachelor Nation’s golden girl as thousands rallied around her and her broken heart.

Never has a contestant become the lead with more support. Yes, The Bachelorette (or Bachelor, depending on the season) is always a “castoff” – the one the suitor really dug, but not enough to put a borrowed Neil Lane diamond on a quivering ring finger. But Becca’s grace under serious pressure earned her lifetime loyalty points, from fans and fellow Bach alums alike. (How she didn’t order a hit on Chris Harrison and the show producers for putting her in that position is still beyond me. She’s either uh-mazing at forgiveness, or a Zen-like disciple of, “Revenge is a dish best served cold.” Only time will tell!)

Becca’s season is sure to break viewing records, as many tune in to see what happens with her big “second chance.” (One guess – her ex, Ross, will not be showing up!) Kufrin has shown she’s game for anything and will surely be a good sport, but odds are slim she’ll bring the dramz. If anything, she’s been known to be wildly mature – she’ll be measured and thoughtful in her approach. So let’s hope the men can throw down because, while I want Becca to find a mate, I don’t want to be bored watching her do it. Speaking of mates, let’s bring on the guys!

For a complete list of potential boyfriends, visit ABC. For now, here’re a few of the oddballs and standouts:

Mike, Sports Analyst: Dude, be careful – Lestat might get jealous, and you don’t want that kind of pain.

Lincoln, Account Sales Executive: An early fave who wants to make his mom proud. Will the “look good on paper” guy “jump off the page” IRL?

Kamil, Social Media Participant: Something tells me Kamil is also a “Stay At Home Son.” Unless this is a smokescreen to hide that this dude is hella rich, this is the saddest unemployment cover ever.

Leo, Stuntman: You may laugh at his hair… until you look at his hands. Leo may have the stuff to back it all up!

Jason, Corporate Banker: Likes to unwind by singing Disney tunes in his spare time. Ladies, you wet yet?

Jordan, Male Model: I’m 99% sure Jordan and Robby Hayes are cousins. At the very least, they must share the same dentist. Say cheese!

Oh, friends – there’s more. Much more! But we’ll wrap here for now. Get ready to tumble to your television sets Monday, May 28th for the premiere – the perfect accompaniment to the “I just rafted down the river, drank too much beer, I’m sunburned, and now I have to pretend to care about work tomorrow” fun that is Memorial Day. See you soon!

Look for weekly recaps of The Bachelorette here, posting on Wednesday mornings, and follow Jenna Zine for live-tweets of the show.

About Jenna Zine

Jenna Zine is a writer, unashamed Bachelor franchise live-tweeter (@JennaZine1) and recapper, lapsed drummer, and occasional standup comic. She's probably somewhere complaining about her bangs right now. Find more at www.jennazine.com

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