Titanic: The Legend Goes On (2000) Movie Review

By: Oberst von Berauscht (Six Pack) –

So, you thought Legend of the Titanic was a cheap animated cash-in on the 1997 blockbuster movie? I must tell you, Dear Reader, that nothing you see in that film can prepare you for this similarly named cheap cash-in animated movie about the Titanic disaster.

The Jack/Rose romance of the 1997 blockbuster Titanic is repeated basically beat for beat here, but with the added bonus of subplots involving a detective, jewelry theft, talking mice, and other animals. Characters are lifted directly from Disney and Warner Bros animation, including a couple Dalmatians, a street-wise scraggly dog, and strangely racist Mexican Mice.

mexicanmice
Yeah, I got nothing

A Toast

You actually expect me to have something positive to say about this movie?  Well, the runtime is about 20 minutes shorter than advertised, owing to overlong credits at the end.  So the experience will be mercifully over sooner than you expect.

Beer Two

Plenty of animation errors are spread throughout this film.  So many that perhaps they aren’t “errors” but rather artistic choices?  Do you view failing to animate the mouth of a character as it talks as an artistic choice?

Screen Shot 2016-07-29 at 2.27.35 PM
Every frame a painting… a horrible, horrible painting

Beer Three

This scene comes out of nowhere in the film and has no context within the story. There isn’t another rap, this doesn’t further the characters in any way. It is just… one of the most amazing two minutes in film history.

Beer Four

Titanic: The Legend Goes On was created by an Italian film studio, and it shows.  It is painfully obvious that the dialogue in the film was written and translated by non-native English speakers. Reference the video above as evidence. Lines such as “If it hadn’t been for you I would now be in someone else’s digestion” just roll off of the tongue now, don’t they?

Beer Five

Unlike in Legend of the Titanic, this ship actually sinks. But it’s OK because everyone who died dies off camera and all the major characters you see survive for one reason or another.  Not that an animated children’s films should show graphic deaths on screen… but then again, they also shouldn’t make an animated film about a famous disaster that killed 1500 people.  I can’t wait till the inevitable Hindenburg disaster animated film.  Perhaps it would look something like this…

manatee

Beer Six

I grow tired of coming up with things to say about this shitty, shitty movie, so here’s some more of those racist Mexican Mice.

Verdict

Much like the other Italian-produced animated film about the Titanic featuring talking animals, this was a waste of valuable resources and not much else.

Six Pack

Titanic: The Legend Goes On (2016) Drinking Game

Take a Drink: whenever the animation style changes randomly

Take a Drink: for racially stereotyped characters

Drink a Shot: for the rapping dog sequence… make it a double

Take a Drink: for flubbed line readings/bad translation in the dialogue

About Oberst von Berauscht

Oberst Von Berauscht once retained the services of a Gypsy to imbue in him the ability to accurately describe the artistic qualities of a film up to seven decimal points. To maintain this unique skill, he must feast on the blood of a virgin every Harvest Moon, or failing that (and he usually does), he can also make a dog do that thing they do where they twist their heads slightly (you know, when they're confused about something) at least a few times a week. I've gotten way off track here... The point is, Oberst is one of the website's founders, so... yeah

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!