Don’t Kill It (2017) Movie Review: Ivan Drago vs. Demons

By: Frankie B. (Four Beers) –

Dolph Lundgren has come out with a solid stream of Direct to Video movies over the past 20+ years after having a solid run of hits in the 80s and early 90s. His newest release, Don’t Kill It, takes him away from his usual killing of terrorists and focuses his crosshairs on the new flavor of the day, demons. I am never one to pass up the chance to watch an unknown B-movie, so naturally I was game to check this one out.

This is me whenever I see a new Dolph Lundgren movie. Super Skeptical.

Don’t Kill It focuses on demon hunter Jebediah Woodley (Dolph Lundgren), who has tracked a demon to a small town in Mississippi. The demon is wreaking havoc across the town, and it is up to Jebediah to stop it. He soon teams up with FBI Agent Evelyn Pierce (Kristina Klebe) to attempt to stop the trail of death that the demon is leaving in its wake. Secrets come to light and allegiances will be challenged as a result.

He used to be so majestic.

A Toast

I really liked that the creators of this were not afraid to go over the top with the gore. The crazy kills start about 5 minutes in and don’t let up until the very end of the movie. Little kids gunning people down and snapping necks, that’s in this movie. An old ass lady gunning people in a town hall meeting, why not?

That look you get when you realize you starred in Kindergarten Cop 2.

Beer Two

Dolph Lundgren shows up for this one. Annnnnnddd that’s about the extent of his contribution. Showed up for a paycheck and got one (I’m assuming), and gets to act in another 10 Direct to video movies for his trouble. Hopefully he can make an appearance in Rocky 12 in a couple of years.

This was me several times during this movie.

Beer Three

The plot of this movie could have been its main strength if it could have followed through with anything that it had started. The demon in the movie wants to be killed so it can move from body to body in order to gain power. Cool, let’s not find out what the demon wants. Let’s bring up something interesting about Agent Pierce, and end the movie a few minutes later with no payoff.

It’s good to see that the Birdemic team is still working in Hollywood.

Beer Four

The final scene in the movie might be one of the lamest endings of any movie that I have ever seen. There is some build up and the movie finally is starting to become mildly interesting and then it ends super abruptly. The CG in this scene is all time bad, Birdemic bad.

The first still shot from Rocky 12.

Verdict

Don’t Kill It is certainly not the worst movie that I have ever seen, but it is still pretty terrible. I am wondering why a studio would release this in theaters instead of cutting a deal with SyFy.  At least you might get a snappy hashtag and some promotion with SyFy. My best advice is to skip this and rewatch something you’ve seen two to three dozen times.

Don’t Kill It (2017) Drinking Game

Take a Drink: every time Dolph mentions demons.

Take a Drink: every time someone dies.

Do a Shot: for the Granny rampage.

Take a Drink: whenever you hear the demon scream.

About Frankie B.

A kid from New York that fell in love with the magic of movies. Fascinated by every facet of the movie industry. Really love B-quality horror movies and psychological thrillers. Movieboozer is a humor website and drinking games are intended for entertainment purposes only, please drink responsibly.

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