I’m almost positive karate was invented by women to deter wild penis attacks. If you’ve never seen a feral boner coming at you then you don’t even know. But I ... Read More »
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Car horns honk. The sun shines. A light breeze dances across Jordan Rubin’s cheek, interrupting visions of zombie beavers chasing scantily clad co-eds though his dreams. He opens his eyes ... Read More »
I like to start every Debate with words of wisdom, so when life gives you lemons, ride a zebra through some pound cake. I guarantee you life will be confused ... Read More »
The Felix-Ripjaw Debate: Jack Huston Caught Red-Blue-And-Gold-Handed Having Sexy Adventure Time With Supergirl!!
I don’t need to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes, I can do that comfortably from the couch at home with the added bonus of booze. But I digress. ... Read More »
At some point it would be great if we could evolve thumbs that would quit typing once our B.A.C hit triple digits… But then this column would never get written. ... Read More »
The Felix-Ripjaw Debate: Gina Shows ‘Gina To Emma Twatson And Michael F(ass)bender At Deadpool’s BJ Bonanza!!
I’ll play in any dodgeball tournament but instead of balls they’re nachos and you put them in my face. Basically just give me nachos. But I digress. Welcome back to ... Read More »
As my liver goes on strike and I sober up from the drunken stupor necessary to purchase a ticket to, and think about long enough to review, 50 Shades Of ... Read More »
By: Felix Felicis - Four score and seven boners ago, I started writing for MovieBoozer and now they pretty much let me do whatever I want (you’re welcome for Margarita Monday, guys). ... Read More »
By: Henry J. Fromage and Movieboozer Staff & Contributors Well, here we are, finally looking back on the bountiful cornucopia that was film in 2014. Comment with your own favorites ... Read More »
SuperBowl XLIX (or SuperBowl 49 for those of you who can’t read a dead language) had over 114 million people tune in this past Sunday, and with a turnout like ... Read More »