Category: ASYLUM MOVIES
By: Wonko The Sane (Six Pack) - A Journalist follows a Belizean Special Forces Unit into the jungle to cover an anti-drug expedition. In the midst of the misson they encounter an unseen force that is hunting them. Could they be Aliens, or an early form of humanity itself, under-evolved and evil? And how
By: Oberst Von Berauscht (Three Beers) - The Asylum returns with a vengeance in their latest “Mockbuster”. In Abraham Lincoln Vs. Zombies, the sixteenth President of the United States is tapped to fight the living dead, but not Vampires like in the more prominent Hollywood release (so it’s totally different). When a Union fortress is captured
By: Wonko The Sane (Four Beers) – A group of scientists at an Antarctic Research outpost set out to find one of their lost comrades only to discover a gigantic cave, which leads to an underground continent… WITH NAZIS. The scientists are accompanied by Dr. Adrien Reistad (Jake Busey), who quickly reveals himself to be
By: Wonko The Sane (Six Beers) - The TSA installs a new air-traffic control system that automates all aspects of air travel, from flight patterns to the jets themselves. In spite of criticism from experts this system is implemented immediately, and with seemingly little beta-testing, and no backup plans in case something goes wrong.
By: Wonko The Sane (Four Beers) - In case you hadn’t heard, there are two versions of the “Snow White” fairy tale being released in 2012, one is a comedy with wise-cracking short people and visual splendor, the other has Thor. Regardless of how either film is destined to be seen by critics, the
By: Wonko The Sane (Six Beers) – Laughing in the face of all that is good and decent in the world, The Asylum has done it again. 2-Headed Shark Attack is the latest in a long-running line of ridiculous and awesome monster movies that are so good they totally bypass the theaters and go straight
By: Wonko The Sane (Six Beers) - Family moves into house, house is haunted, family killed. And it is all caught on video by the house’s surveillance system and camera-obsessed teen. That’s all you’re getting from me here, just watch the fuckin’ trailer already.
By: Wonko The Sane (Six Beers) - Wonko: “You really need a synopsis for this?” Editor: “Well yeah, you saw the movie after all…” Wonko: “You don’t get it” Editor: “What is there to get?” Wonko: ”Well, let me explain it this way… take Zombieland, subtract the jokes, give it a SyFy Channel budget and add a
By: Wonko the Sane (Four Beers) - The Duncan family have moved into a new home, and daughter Brooke is struggling to fit into the surroundings. She quarrels often with her father and stepmom, and has taken to sneaking out late at night to hang out with friends. Here she meets Denny, who within
By: Wonko The Sane (Five Beers) - It is the early 1300s and the Pope has disbanded the order of the Knights Templar, forcing its members to escape into the hinterlands of Europe to find peace and freedom from persecution. A group of these knights led by John the Brave (Stuntman and Horse Trainer Dylan