Author Archives: Tin Can Dan
The Shining (1980)
By: Tin Can Dan Fury (Three Beers) -
Stanley Kubrick’s enigmatic milestone in cinematic history continues to intrigue, frighten, engage, and piss off to this day. The Shining is, for the most part, a thought provoking, psychological horror film starring Jack Nicholson’s eyebrows and Shelley Duvall’s lack of acting skills. Nicholson is at his creepiest as struggling writer/former schoolteacher Jack Torrance who moves his family to an isolated Colorado hotel for the winter as he oversees the grounds of the seasonal inn while attempting to perfect his written work.
Though based on Stephen King’s novel of the same name, the film is a labyrinth distinguishably designed and erected from the mind of director Stanley Kubrick. The director is able to truly wear and tear at the minds of his audience in the maze-like Overlook Hotel, just as his characters’ psyches deteriorate simultaneously. That said, The Shining is easily one of the slowest horror films in movie history. While frequently effective, many scenes can gradually drag into incoherence, seemingly for the sake of incoherence. Some of the film’s thrills are genuinely frightening while others fall flat or come off as just plain gross. Nicholson is the film’s saving grace as a truly disheartening and severe Jack Torrance. Nicholson loses himself completely in a decently written role that could easily come off as laughable in the hands of a lesser performer.
If only…
A Toast
In the film, Scatman Crothers’ character Hallorann describes the term “shining” as one’s ability to converse without opening their mouth. Similarly, director Stanley Kubrick was a mastermind auteur who could communicate greatly through aesthetic elements of his films aside from the dialogue of his characters. Kubrick gave the Overlook Hotel a pulse. The director was able to depict the hotel as just as much a living, breathing entity as Jack or Wendy. The blatant symmetry of nearly every physical aspect of the film (with the exception of Shelley Duvall’s face) adds to the increasing paranoia of the Overlook Hotel. The sweeping views of Colorado landscapes accompanied by ominous synthesizer tones create an undeniable sense of looming despair. Pioneering usage of the Steadicam adds to the subtle yet sinister atmosphere of the Overlook Hotel’s isolated corridors.

Today, Danny Lloyd is a college professor in Missouri. Think he’s called “Doc” all day?
Beer Two
Despite Nicholson’s unforgettably chilling performance as theTorrancepatriarch, the hardly believableTorranceclan comes off as a distractingly bad 1950s T.V. family impression. Jack Torrance is the stern father who rarely addresses his son using more than a few words, and Wendy Torrance is the clueless housewife who frequently condescends to her eerily mature son, played by Danny Lloyd. The ‘Razzie’ nominated Shelley Duvall as Wendy Torrance is as miscast as can be. Duvall surpasses her character’s required amount of naivety to a point where the performance comes off as cartoonish. It is easy to recognize that something is wrong when the female lead of a film is out-acted by a little boy’s clairvoyant finger.
A face for the radio and acting chops for literature.
Beer Three
In the end, The Shining is merely a ghost story. Based off of Stephen King’s deeply personal bestseller, the film could have been much more had it borrowed more from the source material’s primary plotline of Jack’s increasing alcoholism and the weight it held on his family life amidst a five month long period of being unable to escape each other. Arguments can be made about the film’s themes involving a tortured individual’s refusal or inability to embrace the American dream, a masculinity crisis, or even commentary on American abuse and destruction of Native American culture. However, such themes take a backseat to the primary “haunted house” aspect of the film, which subsequently limits the film’s potential.
The film is an effective, and at times frustrating, depiction of the confrontation between tortured ghosts of the past and equally tortured souls during times of extreme mental and physical entrapment. That’s all. It’s a ghost story made memorable by its direction, courtesy of the brilliant Mr. Stanley Kubrick, as well as a goosebump inducing performance by Jack Nicholson. The Shining is a beautiful, horrifying, bewildering, draining ghost story.
Bonus Drinking Game
Take a Drink: any time someone is wearing red, white and blue.
Take a Shot: whenever Jack Torrance uses his typewriter.
Take a Drink: any time Danny has a vision of the past, present, or future.
The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992)
By: Tin Can Dan Fury (Three Beers) -
If I were a betting man, I’d put the smart money on the majority of adult males today whole-heartedly choosing to pass on watching a bunch of colorful socks sing holiday songs to the narration of Chuck Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol”. However, I advise giving it a go anyway if the only thing on the tube this holiday season is either Reindeer Games or a shitty Tim Allen Christmas movie sequel.
Brian Henson, son of Jim Henson and heir to a puppet empire, takes the helm of the franchise following his father’s death and breathes passable new life into the lungs of the classic Dickens holiday tale that most kids instinctively hate anyway. The film takes moderate creative license with telling the story of Ebenezer Scrooge (Michael Caine), who gets a glimpse at his past, present, and future Christmases with the help of a little ghost girl, a giant (drunk?) Rubeus Hagrid puppet, and a Ringwraith on loan from Middle Earth. (SPOILER ALERT: The true meaning of Christmas is learned!)
“Where we’re going, we don’t need roads…” – Ghost of Christmas Future
A Toast
Henson Junior’s version is a witty, self-aware take on an old tale with playful gags that both kids and adults can enjoy. The majority of the songs are catchy and the characters are lively and humorous without being overwhelmingly annoying. The ever impressive Michael Caine portraying the iconic Mr. Scrooge is cross-generational Disney casting at its finest. But was I the only one waiting for him to say “Some men just want to watch the world burn.”?
Mike Caine: from winning Oscars to working alongside Oscar the Grouch.
Beer Two
Even while only clocking in at just south of an hour and a half, I found myself more than a tad fatigued from listening to scores of fuzzy, felt, little vermin sing and dance about the joys of Christmas by the end of the film. I’ll stand behind the argument that no one really needs a solid eighty-nine minutes of ‘Disney does Dickens’ in their life. I could see The Muppets Christmas Carol working better as a shortened T.V. special.
Beer Three
Why didn’t they just put a wig on Michael Bolton and give him the part of “Belle”?
What the hell is with the creepy ballad sung by Scrooge’s former lover during the ‘Christmas past’ flashback? The scene was featured only in the original home video release (the version I watched for some reason) and eventually omitted completely from the DVD release of the film. One thing that the ‘Muppets’ movies up until The Muppet Christmas Carol had going for them was that they could be completely meaningful and relevant without taking themselves too seriously. In attempting to induce the waterworks out of its older audience, this sleeper of a scene just completely lost me.
Cheery, witty, intelligent, colorful holiday merriment brimming with moral lessons for the whole fam. Nothing more, nothing less. It is probably needless to say that The Muppets Christmas Carol will most likely tickle the fancies of hardcore ‘Muppets’ fans more than it will for hardcore Dickens fans.
Bonus Drinking Game
Take a Drink: every time Rizzo the Rat falls down or gets hurt.
Take a Drink: every time Mr. Scrooge says the word “spirit.”
Drink a Shot: every time Mr. Scrooge says “Humbug”.




