Author Archives: livingdeadguy
Chimpanzee (2012)
By: LivingDeadGuy (Three Beers) –
BEERate this movie!
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From Cabin In The Woods one week to Chimpanzee the next….oh this is going to be fun. Also, I just watched Rise of the Planet of the Apes…there may be some cross over commentary from Caesar.
So what’s this movie about? Well, if you ask Caesar he’d probably say something like “primates being unknowingly filmed for human amusement; fighting amongst themselves like lower class citizens.” What is a movie- even a documentary with animals- without a main character and some conflict?! The main chimp is Oscar (Caesar: “Which is what Andy Serkis got screwed out of in his portrayal of….me!”) and from beginning to end we go through the first three years of his life, but mainly the first sixish months. Like any creature in existence, Oscar’s life has its ups and downs and we get to experience some.
The Cabin in the Woods (2012)
By: LivingDeadGuy (A Toast) –
BEERate this movie!
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Cabin In The Woods is one of those movies that I heard nothing but good things about from entertainment journalists that I trust. When they all have glowing remarks about a movie from someone you also trust (Joss Whedon), you know it’s going to be good. You’re so confident that it will be good that you have no hesitation in letting your anticipation sky rocket to places you’re not sure the movie can reach. There was also one solid piece of advice from them that I am going to pass on to you: go into the movie as blind as possible. I’m serious; you see how many beers it got, just stop reading and go watch.
Alright if you must know, Cabin In The Woods picks right up where cliché leaves off with five stereotype college students going to a cabin in the woods for a weekend (half the plot is in the title, how good can this be?). Not all is as it seems and they start getting eliminated in good bloody fashion. There is another element to this that the trailers hint at but you don’t want to know about until you’re sitting in the theater. Believe me, the movie is in the vein of Scream by looking cliché straight in the face and using it (only this time it’s beneficial). There, that’s all the description you get. Joss Whedon co wrote and produced it with long-time (I’m talking Buffy era) collaborator Drew Goddard who directed and co-wrote it. A pre-Thor Chris Hemsworth stars; now go see the flipping movie!
See it or Marty takes you out with his…badass coffee…mug…?
A Toast
I look at my anticipation for the movie that started months ago and then look at how I feel about the movie. I’m not let down. I stayed blind and that was the smartest thing I could have done. The cast is great, filling their roles perfectly and thanks to a good script, they never take themselves too seriously. That’s another brilliant point: none of the characters make you hate them or want them dead.
There are a few instances of limited effects (the echoes heard during the escape attempt by RV) but those don’t detract from the movie in the least.
The story is a bit of a cliché with an original take. Make no mistake, that original take IS the movie though. It laughs at itself along with the audience. With that idea in mind, I want to say that the movie seems to break its own 4th wall at times. There is even a point where the movie itself writes the script. I know, sounds weird-just trust me.
Ever seen a girl make out with a mounted wolf’s head? Would you like to?
The movie does nothing wrong. There may be parts that aren’t great (pffft I didn’t see any!) but they are balanced out by a lot of good stuff. I can’t guarantee how much you’ll like the movie if you don’t like ANY horror. If you’re a horror fan though, Cabin In The Woods WILL NOT let you down.
Bonus Drinking Game
Take a Drink: for the obligatory horror movie boob shot
Do a Shot: for the severed/isolated hands (you’ll know what I mean)
Do a Shot: every time the movie gets cliched and do another shot if the movie calls itself on it
Take a Drink: for the unicorn!!
Silent House (2012)
By: LivingDeadGuy (Five Beers) –
BEERate this movie!
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Martha Marcy May Marlene and being the unknown Olsen sister is about all I knew Elizabeth Olsen-wise before this. I’ve heard great things about both, so why not try a horror movie with her? I mean The Strangers and The Collector and this looked pretty similar. What the movie brings to the table is a much more suspenseful and blood-free version of either of those. Found footage or anything resembling it has leapt from being a unique change to being its own genre with nothing unique to that offer.
Where Silent House tried to make up ground was by being billed as some sort of “real time/one take”, which, as an idea is…different. Not good or bad because cuts happen so fast in movies you don’t notice anyway. Silent House just made the screen blurry a lot (A LOT). What’s it about you ask? A girl, her father, and uncle are restoring and packing up their old lake side home. Said girl has the camera following her around and gets scared. I’ll tell you right now, they threw a twist in, which, much like the movie, sucked. Suppose it was either that route or be a knock off of The Strangers.
Good Bad
A Toast
The one thing I did enjoy about Silent House was the ever so brief back and forth between the brothers/father and uncle/supporting actors. After taking in the whole movie, that portion comes off even better than it should.
Beer Two
The script. I never harp on the script. Ever. Mainly because as long as long as there is dialogue, I’m simply not picky. I don’t try to follow the logic unless something like “don’t make me shoot you” is met with “cupcakes!”, which then I may question. Silent House was by and large a display of Elizabeth Olsen’s ability to scream, run, cry, and hyperventilate.
Beer Three
The cinematography that the movie was kind of sold on… was bad. It got blurry more than it should have and tried to showcase acting abilities more than the movie (ie: catching reactions as opposed to letting the audience react). 3D movies have the unintentional design flaw of coming off blurry. This, though, was made to be blurry on purpose in some spots. It’s like I said in the first paragraph, the one shot idea is cool and there were parts that surprised me with pulling it off, but the casual audience is not going to notice. I repeat, YOU WILL NOT NOTICE IT IS “ONE TAKE”.
A great shot to describe the movie: Liz Olsen is scared, it’s kind of blurry, and there is terrible lighting (the house had no power, so prepare for candles and lanterns).
Beer Four
Unexplained characters. Guys with ski masks were appearing. I have a theory as to why, but it’s a bit of a spoiler. I will tell you that they made no sense, along with the “old friend” that randomly shows up. I think it all has to do with the crappy twist. I mean, it feels like lazy writing. “Aliens in Indy 4” levels of lazy writing.
Still a better movie despite the aliens
Beer Five
It’s only 88 minutes. I don’t know how this got a theatrical release. Martha Marcy May Marlene must be amazing. Mind you, the length works in the movie’s favor because it’s just over that much faster, though you still want it to be over even quicker.
Go to an Alamo Drafthouse location or some other place where alcohol levels rise as the movie goes on. I wish I hadn’t seen this. I wish I could have given it more beers, but it does so little and sucks at all of it, there aren’t even six factors to pick apart. I highly recommend saving on tickets, gas, and concessions and renting The Strangers and/or The Collector and you get a much better movie.
Depending on how much blood you want to see, I’d go with The Collector as I consider that SAW 2 on steroids, but I’ll leave more descriptors for the review. I can understand the motivations to do this movie. Elizabeth Olsen has one movie that is very generously reviewed. In the last few years, we have seen Will Smith be a one man movie in I Am Legend and Ryan Reynolds do his thing in Buried. I think Silent House was meant to be a vehicle for Elizabeth Olsen, but it’s simply not. Fortunately, I think people will be more than willing to put this in the rear view mirror and give her another shot. She’s attractive and acting is in her family, even great actors have a few bombs for various reasons. Also, let us not forget that the people who made this also did Open Water. Oops.
Bonus Drinking Game
I think you should already be drunk, or decide to drink anyway when watching this, but let’s see if I can dig up some excuses:
Take a Drink: for every noise heard by Ms. Olsen
Take a Drink; if you get confused by anything or when trying to figure things out
Drink a Shot: when you feel like leaving the theater and going to The Lorax
On second thought, with how blurry and shaky the movie gets you may want to hold off on the booze because you’ll start thinking the room is spinning after one drink.
Go Buy: another Six Pack after the movie so you can attempt to forget it
Man on a Ledge (2012)
By: LivingDeadGuy (Three Beers) –
Be the 1st to BEERate this movie!
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I went into Man on a Ledge with somewhat low expectations. Sorry, but Sam Worthington and Elizabeth Banks were not enough to convince me that a January release would be good. Luckily for me, this meant expecting very little (I don’t have TV service, so I didn’t have trailers shoved down my throat either) beyond what I thought would be some sort of Phone Booth half sequel). The story revolves around an ex cop (Nick Cassidy) who goes down for robbery, but maintains his innocence the entire time. He is facing a good bit of jail time, and needs to get his point across and have enough people take notice. He requests a female negotiator played by Elizabeth Banks who has had a rough couple of weeks since a failed suicide negotiation.
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001)
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001) DVD / Blu-ray
By: livingdeadguy (Two Beers) -
BEERate this movie!
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I’ve been a fan of Kevin Smith for a while. He seemed to alienate a lot of people in the build to Red State, but Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, along with Dogma, was during his prime. Way back when, I thought the monkey portion was stupid and that kept me from rewatching it….until now. Starting from the first scene where Jay sings that pot head song it was almost pure nostalgia since a pot head friend of mine in high school sang it at about the same time the movie came out.
A Toast
As I’ve become the bigger movie fan, though, I came to really appreciate the star power/cameos this movie had. Ben Affleck (who is in most Smith movies as a virtue of their friendship), Matt Damon, Shannon Elizabeth, Eliza Dushku, Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher, James Van Derbeek, Jason Biggs, George Carlin, Jason Lee, Chris Rock, Bryan Lynch, Jaime Kennedy, Will Ferrell, Judd Nelson, and Deidrich Bader all have a presence of some sort.
The poster actually does only a moderate job of showing off the cast
On top of that, you had an essential shattering of the 4th wall. The combination of those two factors alone is almost enough to propel it to A Toast, but it does fall short. I think a lot of the movie is essentially Kevin Smith’s commentary on the business with some observations on what at that time was the newly created internet movie blog. If you broke this movie into portions of three or more, I liked everything but the middle. Or, oddly, anything near Ben Affleck’s presence, maybe because he goes from poking fun at himself to playing himself. It’s just a fun use of the actor.
Two Beers
There is a story that works, it is just pointless-at least in the middle. It’s like Kevin Smith had a basic idea that he realized was maybe an hour and had to put some fluff in to make it feature length. This middle portion felt very pointless, in fact, when you think about the movie in its entirety. Just completely useless, a sub-plot really that’s only use was in fact getting Harold and Kumar Jay and Silent Bob across the country and instead of making it simply that, it tried to become its own story. Later on, Smith found a way to incorporate all that crap into a working ending.
Visually, the inclusion is obvious. Watch the movie and tell me why!
When it comes down to it though, a Kevin Smith movie featuring Jay and Silent Bob is always a welcomed presence and I truly forgot a lot of the good spots in the movie. I knew there were some cameos and it was fun to just see them again, in some cases it’s like a Hollywood game of hide and seek. There was even one cameo that I didn’t notice and another that I bet most people won’t even see. I could even tell you it’s Bryan Lynch and you would probably still have to go online to figure that one out. Also give credit to Kevin Smith for getting himself a writing, directing, and starring position and having all of two lines.
Bonus Drinking Game
Take a Drink: every time sex is brought up
Take a Drink: for every cameo (or View Askewniverse reference) you see
Take a Shot: for the C.L.I.T and the L.A.B.I.A. Yeah.
Wet Hot American Summer (2001)
Wet Hot American Summer (2001) DVD / Blu-ray
By: livingdeadguy (Two Beers) -
Be the 1st to BEERate this movie!
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Alright, I feel like a bit of an idiot. That fact actually helped the rating and the reasoning for that feeling will come out a little later. See, I apparently slightly confused Wet Hot American Summer with One Crazy Summer….to a degree. I knew One Crazy Summer was an 80’s movie on its own about fresh-out-of-high-school teens spending their last summer on Nantucket. Wet Hot American Summer is an 80’s movie about summer camp.
The thing I love about both is that they each have an up and coming cast (Wet Hot more than One Crazy though, mind you). Naturally they each have the priceless 80’s feel that makes you think of anything with John Hughes’ name on it. One small problem though: One Crazy Summer has a literally “young stars” cast (namely John Cusack, Demi Moore, and Jeremy Piven) and was made in 1986. Wet Hot American Summer on the other hand I discovered had a release year of 2001. Yup, two movies with that unique 80’s feel.
Complete with short shorts and belly shirts….on guys
Only one was made IN the 80’s and one was made ABOUT the 80’s. Folks, a large part of the good review Wet Hot American Summer is about to receive is because I didn’t know it wasn’t made in the 80’s until I happened to see Kyle Gallner’s name in the credits and again confused him for Kyle Chandler (in name, not looks). Then I started seeing “2001” plastered next to this movie and saw it was a SPOOF on the 80’s teen summer movie. With an ensemble cast of stars that it turns out were on the cusp of breaking through (with the natural few established stars in there for support), you have an effective and successful movie. Now that the buildup is complete:
A Toast
To having a great ensemble cast and being able to truly recreate the feel of an 80’s movie. Maybe part of it has to do with me not knowing it wasn’t an authentic 80’s movie until after, but there were no hints that it wasn’t! This would certainly not be the first time a young cast of future famous people has been used, just watch any John Hughes film or The Goonies. Then there’s the clothing. As far as the clothing goes, I think the pic above says it all: yellow short shorts, a belly shirt, and the ¾ sleeve jersey. Only a movie not trying or not made in the 80’s would make the mistake of not including those authentic articles of clothing that thankfully did not make the jump into the new millennium….unless you’re a hipster.
That’s really what gives the movie a lot of big marks: how authentic it feels. It really impressed me, cause like I said, had I not seen Gallner’s name and thought “is that kid old enough to have been in an 80’s movie?” I would have looked even worse instead of using my stupidity as fuel for this review.
Two Beers
Alas, a second beer IS warranted. That goes to character development. Everyone essentially has these established roles that you figure out about as quickly as you do the roles in Feast.
Yup, pretty much this easy
The only difference between Wet Hot and other movies like it (or the movies it tries to be like) is that there is no character development. Most movies have the guy getting the girl or the guy gaining some confidence from losing his virginity or something. By the final scenes, there was really one storyline left standing and it was dropped for what I’ll admit is more a realistic and non-storybook ending.
A few weeks ago I had heard something about Wet Hot American Summer getting a sequel and there is even a scene that sets one up (and while I was watching, I remembered the article and thought to myself “there it is! There’s the sequel…albeit a little late”). Turns out a sequel would be pretty on time, literally 10 years later. Maybe this can become the movie version of “I love the 80’s” and “I love the 90’s”, successfully parodying the look and feel of its basis. Either way, it’s a fun and simple movie with a cast of current A-list actors in a mock 80’s movie which I personally will never get tired of.
Bonus Drinking Game
Take a Drink: for every sweet piece of clothing… you know you want to
Take a Shot: for a talking can of food
Take a Drink: whenever things like rubbing mud on your butt and humping a fridge are embraced
Take a Shot: for ‘Nam
Die Hard (1988)
Die Hard (1988) DVD / Blu-Ray
By: livingdeadguy (A Toast) -
BEERate this movie!
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Disclaimer: Die Hard IS my all time favorite movie and possibly not coincidentally, Bruce Willis is my favorite actor. Both took over the throne years back from Kevin Bacon and Tremors, but I do not see anyone taking the throne from Bruce or this movie (it certainly helps that Die Hard is widely considered the greatest action movie of all time).
It’s a modernized version of David vs Goliath in the same vain as Oh Brother Where Art Thou? Is a different version of the classic story The Odyssey. You have an off duty New York City cop known as John McClane (played by Bruce Willis while he still had some hair) who is visiting his wife and kids for Christmas on the other coast in LA. Over the course of the movie, McClane becomes a lone wolf as German terrorists/robbers/almost kidnappers take over the fictional Nakatomi Plaza (whose actual building DOES exist in LA). The head terrorist guy is played by A la….oh, who am I kidding, you’ll know him better if I tell you it’s the guy who plays Severus Snape in the Harry Potter series. Anyway, the movie as I said is a version of David vs Goliath… if Goliath had multiple heads. Bruce Willis has to take out the terrorists while trying to stay alive and if by chance he ends up saving his marriage in the process, then that’s cool too.
Yes, I am totally comparing these two movies. This is highly underrated.
A Toast
My personal reason that largely makes this the best actioner of all time is that it’s the last good great action movie before CGI took over. These days you have Wolverine taking out helicopters with terribly fake explosions and fighting in front of a brutal green screen high atop Three Mile Island – and that’s just one example. But not here. As I said before, the building is real as they are driving up to it in the beginning, it is not digitally placed into LA. The explosions are all actual explosions, it may only be enough to take up half a second in a Michael Bay movie, but these are at least real and not digital or recycled.
Just be happy I couldn’t find a shot of him looking at the blades in the mirror. I’d tell you that 20th Century Fox was behind this, but wouldn’t want you to shed a tear.
Others love the movie for another just as valid reason in that the scope is narrow and is kept narrow. Bruce Willis is confined to the upper floors of a sky scraper with the terrorists he is trying to kill placed between him and the ground so it’s focused. Focus is something that has been lost in the sequels, though, as Die Hard 2 went to an airport and tried to have the baddies take off, then it was the city of New York followed by the East Coast/the entire U.S. (and there is talk of the next one expanding to another country….I still want him to go to Germany with the Snape actor’s character’s son being the bad guy, but Die Hard is too much of a cash cow (which is good and bad to me) to let the series come full circle and end.
A good movie doesn’t need to be complicated. A good movie doesn’t have to have a whole lot going on. A good movie can have very few aspects to it in fact, and all that needs to happen is that those aspects (like the two in the Toast) are not only done right, but done simply, too. If you had any doubt in your mind, or still do despite my glowing and admittedly biased review here, just thinking about this: They are all the way up to a fifth installment and the first was literally the launch pad of Bruce Willis’s career, who just played in a movie full of geriatric assassins. Also, it is technically a Christmas movie, so it totally crosses genres.
Launched his career. Figuratively and literally.
Bonus Drinking Game
Take a shot: every time McClane kills a terrorist
Take a drink: for every explosion
Take a drink: if you plan on watching Die Hard 2: Die Harder after this as you will need it…because it’s the worst of the four. Just skip to three and stay happy.
Middle Men (2009)
Middle Men (2009) DVD / Blu-ray
By: livingdeadguy (A Toast) -
BEERate this movie!
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Especially for a drama based on true events with components of porn and crime, Middle Men fits itself into a unique niche and over its runtime becomes a more serious movie with broader appeal. It’s based on the life of producer Christopher Mallick and is as he says “80% truth”. It follows the story of Buck and Wayne (played by Giovanni Ribisi, who is always fun to watch even if his movies aren’t, and Gabriel Macht, who is better known by now as The Spirit or as Harvey Specter in the awesome Suits on USA).
These guys decided to try and make profit off of porn online by being the-you guessed it-middle men. They provided porn in another avenue (not print or tv-1997 mind you) and simply handled the credit card transactions from customer to content provider. As the film states, Buck’s character (who is also a coke-addicted rocket scientist- seriously) wrote a program that is “the standard today for any online credit card transaction” and was the way of making Wayne’s idea happen. Mallick’s part? Well, he is essentially their manager, played by Luke Wilson (going by the name “Jack Harris”). He apparently has a ridiculous ability to fix problems like no other. He helps these guys grow because as he states over and over, Buck and Wayne “are idiots”.
Charlie Sheen: The Early Years
A Toast
To originality. This is something that is rare in the age of remakes and sequels. People always enjoy the realism that the “based on true events” line brings to a movie. It doesn’t matter if it’s Casino Jack, 21, or Texas Chainsaw Massacre, it sells. It’s cool to learn a generalized and partially fictionalized (for the benefit of the viewing public) story about anything and is great when you’re trying to impress friends and can drop random knowledge like the story of the guys who brought you internet porn.
You’d be this mad too if your porn froze in the middle.
It also has accomplished the rare feat of making a movie about porn that appeals to the masses. It’s a true drama with criminal elements, a movie about porn and therefore more than a few sets of boobs, and a comedic delivery to a degree; I mean this movie really does have something for everybody.
At first, I didn’t think Middle Men was A Toast. Writing a review about it lead me to feel that it is, though. It’s not your typical instant reaction of greatness, it’s more of a “dwell on it and it’s better than you first thought.” Middle Men earns the Toast title by doing so few things wrong. There aren’t a huge variety of factors that combine to make it toast-worthy, but a select few that it just does perfectly.
A cameo by Kelsey Grammar and a few short, but awesome spots with Kevin Pollack will also help. Oh, and Terry Crews plays Jack’s friend and bodyguard James. You know, he’s the scene-stealing token black guy in The Expendables. Isn’t that validation enough for this movie?
You’re welcome.
Bonus Drinking Game
Take a Drink: every time Buck and Wayne freak out, get nervous/scared, and do something stupid in haste
Take a Drink: wheneverWayne comes off as knowing everything.
Drink a Shot: for happy endings! (You only think you know what I mean!)
Trick ‘r Treat (2007)
Trick 'r Treat (2007) DVD / Blu-ray
By: livingdeadguy (A Toast) -
BEERate this movie!
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There are a lot of holiday themed movies out there. Good and bad, happy and sad, season-fitting and movies with holidays that just happen to occur in them. I recently reviewed Die Hard which is by far primarily an action movie, but also mentioned that because it takes place on Christmas Eve, it crosses genres and is technically a Christmas movie.
Then you have obvious ones like Halloween that take place on that day. If you enjoy being happy then you probably like Halloween for one reason or another; if not for the candy then the costumes. It’s just a popular holiday and while you could easily associate Halloween with horror movies in general, very few of them have anything to do with the actual holiday. And even fewer happen to actually be good. That is until you talk about Trick ‘r Treat.
Extract (2009)
Extract (2009) DVD / Blu-ray
By: livingdeadguy (Three Beers) -
Be the 1st to BEERate this movie!
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I got this movie a while ago. It’s a big part of the Jason Batemen resurgence and the ascension of Mila Kunis and being that I enjoy both, I wanted to see it. Well, I finally did. Now going into it, I had an idea that it was a sort of work place comedy, but until you watch it you’ll be wondering “where the hell do they get the name ‘Extract’ from?”
What we have is Joel (Batemen) who has created his own flavor extract company from the ground up and thinks that it might be time to sell. His second in command (the ever awesome JK Simmons) pushes hard for this mainly on the idea that he hasn’t learned anyone’s names and now he won’t have to if they sell! What’s strange is that this is a comedic ensemble doing a work place comedy movie, but at its core, the movie is a marriage drama between Jason Batemen and Kristen Wiig of all people.
A Toast
To the cast. You know everyone, be it by name or just facial recognition, you know them. I personally love that in any movie, just being able to pick out all the actors-it gives you confidence in the movie and also an idea of the type of movie to expect.
JK Simmons, just lending some gravitas
Two Beers
To how Mila Kunis’s character is handled. The movie is built around her, and just as quickly she is used and put aside for the marriage drama portion. It just didn’t make sense to me in the end. Also, I will have to warn you that Mila Kunis is not funny in this movie. She’s not Black Swan in it, but she isn’t Forgetting Sarah Marshall either.
Three Beers
For the glorified cameos of Ben Affleck and David Koechner. Personally, I’d like to know how Affleck got brought into this. Something like Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back or Clerks 2, of course (buddies with Kevin Smith), but this? Really? I mean I will always enjoy seeing actors on his level kind of drop down a few levels to do movies like this because I think they enjoy doing it (maybe because they don’t have the pressure of being in an Oscar caliber movie) and it’s a treat to the audience, but Affleck’s cameo was definitely on the strange side.
Gaze upon this. I dare you.
It’s a fun movie that is simple and delivers for the most part. When you take it apart like I just did, it sounds less enjoyable than it is. But that may be because there were about 15 minutes worth of marriage drama in it and everything else was somehow related to the work place comedy portion. It couldn’t really decide what kind of movie it was.
Bonus Drinking Game
Take a Drink: for Brad going 15 times!
Take a Drink: every time you wish Koechner had a bigger, better, funnier part.
Drink a Shot: for not knowing which pill you just took.
