The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (2012) DVD / Blu-ray

By: crimebusterofthesea (Four Beers) -
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How often do you see a film made specifically for old people? It just doesn’t happen that often. The elderly are an untapped market for movie studios. There’s an obvious reason why; it’s not like they’re going to be around for much longer. But The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel does not care. It unashamedly courts the over 65 market just as Transformers courts teenage boys and Sex and the City courts women in general. But when your film is about a bunch of old English people deciding to see out their final years in an Indian hotel, what other choice have you got?

We see some much loved British thesps go from grey, boring old Britannia, to sunny, colourfulIndia. They find that old dogs can learn new tricks and that Indian people are lovely and various other life lessons you wouldn’t expect of old folks. Jolly good.

Over 65? Feel the icy grip of the Grim Reaper closing in? Get the fuck over toIndia!

A Toast

Marigold Hotel has its moments. And with a cast that includes Judi Dench, Bill Nighy and Tom Wilkinson, you are already won over before the opening credits end. It is good natured and mildly entertaining. But that’s where it ends.

Beer Two

The first problem that arises, and that pecks away for the whole film, is that some of the characters aren’t particularly old. Nighy and his on-screen wife Penelope Wilton are 62 and 65 respectively. When we meet them they are considering moving to an apartment for the elderly and infirm. It makes no sense. When your film is about old people moving to India, make sure your old people are, well, old. That may be nit-picking, but it’s things like that which can take you out of a film.

Bill Nighy: Not Old

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It doesn’t take long for the first bit of toilet humour (that Indian food goes right through you, blah blah blah…). Maggie Smith’s character is also more than a bit racist, which we learn the second we meet her. So it makes perfect sense for her to move to India. Much of the humour is derived from her reactions to being spoken to by Indian people, being close to Indian people, or talking about Indian people. It’s not racist; it’s lazy. And the entire time, you know just where it is going.

Movie executive: “Let’s make a movie inIndia! With a bunch of old people! And get that Slumdog kid!”

Beer Four

The sub-plot about Dev Patel’s character and his lovely girlfriend and his mother’s contempt for said girlfriend feels like some weak attempt to amuse a younger crowd. It fails. It plays out like an after-thought. The only thing that keeps it together is Patel’s ability to pull off the “lovable rogue” act.

Verdict

A bit of light-hearted fluff with moments of drama. Even with the juxtaposition of the older lead characters, it hits many of the same beats as your usual rom-com. Watch only if you are retired.

Bonus Drinking Game

Take a Drink: whenever Maggie Smith does anything remotely racist

Take a Drink: whenever someone makes a reference to age

Take a Drink: when anyone says how lovely/horrible India is

Coriolanus (2011) DVD / Blu-ray

By: crimebusterofthesea (Four Beers) -
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The work of Shakespeare has often proved useful for directors who are looking to put a ready-made story on to the cinema screen. Now it is the turn of first-timer Ralph Fiennes (a man who is no stranger to the work of Shakespeare), with Coriolanus.

Coriolanus may not be one of the Bard’s most beloved plays, but it is more relevant than ever and Fiennes has prior experience, having played Coriolanus before on stage. Shakespeare’s play tells the story of Caius Martius Coriolanus (Fiennes), a Roman general who is banished by his people, but returns with his nemesis, Tullus Aufidius (Gerard Butler), to seek revenge on Rome.

You’ve got red on you

A Toast

The performances are fantastic throughout. Fiennes is over the top (calling someone “boy” has never sounded more derogatory), but this works perfectly. Gerard Butler finally gets to do some acting, possibly for the first time in his career, but is underused. The performances from all involved, especially Vanessa Redgrave as Coriolanus’ mother and James Nesbitt as a scheming politician, really drag Coriolanus up, when they really shouldn’t need to.

Jessica Chastain also stars in Coriolanus. Her 748th film of the year.

Beer Two

Fiennes has updated the action to the modern-day, which means we have conversations made over web-cams and Jon Snow doing breaking news reports in iambic pentameter. It’s an admirable attempt at bringing Shakespeare in to the 21st century, but you can’t help but feel that all of these televisions, guns and laptops just don’t belong.

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The problem is that Fiennes has stuck too rigidly to Shakespeare’s original text. The story should be cinematic, but in its original form it does not translate well to the screen.  Instead it trundles along from one thing to the next, hoping that because it is Shakespeare it will all work when it’s put together.

This means that the actions of some of the characters don’t really make sense and some characters just disappear without reason. The people of Rome are also particularly fickle. They are a like a child picking petals off a daisy (we love Coriolanus, we love him not, we love him, we love him not…).

Romans: fickle.

Beer Four

The limited number of characters also makes the film feel much too small-scale. This should be a big, epic story about the fall of a great general. Instead, whenever there is a crowd protesting against Coriolanus, we see the same faces every time. This would be fine on a stage, but on film it just seems odd.

If the whole of Rome are so against him, why are there only 20 protestors? News footage from other, real world events, are used to make up for the lack of numbers (and presumably lack of budget), but this can’t disguise the fact that what works on stage does not work on a cinema screen.

Verdict

If Fiennes had been less reverent towards Shakespeare’s play and instead took the story and molded it in to something that worked better as a film, he would have been on to a real winner. Coriolanus ends up feeling like a missed opportunity, however. It is a film made by someone who wanted to do justice to Shakespeare, but inadvertently made their own film suffer as a result.

Bonus Drinking Game

Take a Drink: every time you wish you paid more attention in school when you were studying Shakespeare.

Take a Drink: whenever Gerard Butler is on screen.

Drink a Shot: whenever there is a protest or angry mob of any kind.

The Raid: Redemption (2011) DVD / Blu-ray

By: crimebusterofthesea (A Toast) -
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It is rare for an audience to applaud at the end of a film. It is even rarer that an audience will break out in to spontaneous applause in the middle of a film to show their appreciation for the sheer balls-to-the-wall brilliance they are witnessing.

However, this is just the kind of reaction The Raid gets and deserves. When you’re not slapping your hands together like an eager seal, you’ll be wondering just how no one died making what is possibly the best action film in a generation.

The story is a simple one; such a threadbare premise usually only belongs to a direct-to-DVD Steven Seagal movie. i sees a SWAT team enter a high rise building to take down a drug lord; they are met with resistance. It may not sound like much of a plot, but this is only the outer layer of a cake full of creamy action-packed filling.

A Toast

This film is a strange beast. It is an Indonesian film, featuring an Indonesian martial art, with a new Indonesian star (Iko Uwais as Rama) but it is written and directed by a Welshman, Gareth Evans. Perhaps it is this strange marrying of cultures that makes The Raid the standout film that it is.

Evans and Uwais, along with Yayan Ruhian (who plays Mad Dog), have crafted some of the most creative action sequences ever seen. There are no beefed up Stallones or Schwarzeneggers. Uwais and Ruhian fight in a flurry of fists and feet. They break necks, arms and hearts (in a bad, kill you kind of way). They may be small in stature, but they would be more than a match for any of Hollywood’s tough guys.

This will not end well for someone

Uwais could be the next big action star. He is Chow Yun Fat to Evans’ John Woo. He is a hero you can root for, but because he is not a hulking man mountain, also relate to. Despite his clear talent at being able to kill people, you are never sure that he will make it home safe before the credits roll.

The Raid does hit a lot of the expected action movie beats. Rama has to survive so he can get home to his pregnant wife and see his son grow up, blah blah blah. The SWAT team have been betrayed and now they’re on their own, with little chance of survival. It’s nothing we haven’t seen before. Except we haven’t seen it before. Not like this. There are enough action sequences here to fill three Die Hards.

Iko Uwais: He may look like quite a nice guy, but in fact he’s just thinking of ways to KILL YOU!

The Raid deserves and requires a second watch. The fight scenes move at such speed, it is difficult to catch every punch and stab. Gareth Evans has said that the film isn’t really “that violent”, because the camera cuts away at certain points before we see, say, a machete connect with a neck. But five minutes later someone is getting an axe in the shoulder. It all evens out in the end.

Verdict

The film is of course being remade by Hollywood, with Gareth Evans hanging on in an executive producer role. This makes it all the more important that people go and see The Raid in its original form. We may never see its like again. Until Evans and Uwais team up for the second part of their trilogy. Roll on Berandal.

Bonus Drinking Game

Take a Drink: every time someone dies

Take a Drink: every time someone is maimed

Drink a Shot: when you realise you have an insane man-crush on Iko Uwais

Senna (2011) DVD / Blu-ray

By: crimebusterofthesea (A Toast) -
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It’s 1994, the third race in the Formula One season, and Ayrton Senna holds the lead over Michael Schumacher going into lap 7 of the race. As Senna approaches the Tamburello corner, his car is moving at over 200mph. His car suddenly veers off course and hits the concrete wall surrounding the track. Despite the best efforts of the medical team, Senna is later pronounced dead at a hospital in Bologna.

Ayrton Senna

Don’t worry. This isn’t a spoiler. This is the end of the sad tale of how one of the greatest drivers in motor racing made it all the way to the top, and died doing what he loved. Senna is the story Ayrton Senna and his rise through the ranks of Formula One. During this time he clashes, on and off the track, with rival driver Alain Prost, and with Jean-Marie Ballestre, the head of Formula One. He wins championships and becomes a national hero in his native Brazil. But by the age of 34 he is dead.

When Senna died, a three day period of national mourning was declared inBrazil.

A Toast

Senna is made with the use of archive footage and Senna’s holiday videos. The usual talking head format is thrown out and we are told Senna’s story by the people who knew him best, entirely through voice-overs. If the film constantly cut to people as they talked about Ayrton, then we would be pulled straight out of the story. By not having any talking-heads we are left with the feeling of actually watching events as they unfold.

Senna and his Formula One rival, Prost

The film plays out more like a drama than a documentary. Senna’s clashes with Prost and Ballestre are enthralling. Ballestre clearly favours his fellow Frenchman, Prost, over the Brazilian Senna and if you are unaware of what will happen next in Senna’s relationship with these two men, then the film becomes all the more riveting.

It is when the action takes to the race track that things become really exciting. Throughout the film, in-car cameras are used to put us right in the driver’s seat. This adds an entirely new dimension to the film and subverts what we would normally expect from a documentary. These cameras show the cars hurtling down the track at unbelievable speeds. While watching things from the perspective of the driver, you are constantly waiting for something terrible to happen. This leads to the sort of tension you would not expect in a documentary.

The view from behind the wheel

Music also plays a big part in Senna. It is unusual for music to be so prominent and effective in this kind of film, but it works brilliantly. In fact, it is unusual for music to be such a remarkable part of a documentary film on a first viewing, but Senna is one such exception. From the opening stirring strings to the heart-thumping races, the music throughout compliments the entire film.

By the time Senna’s story is drawing to a close, you realise that over the course of the film you have begun to feel like you know him. You see not just what he was like as a racing driver, but as a person as well. There is a real emotional connection created with a man who died 18 years ago. This is the real triumph of Senna. You are supporting him the whole way, not because it’s his film, but because he was a good person, who also just happened to be an extraordinary racing driver.

Verdict

On the surface, like Drive, Senna may appear to be about a man and his proficiency at controlling an automobile, but in fact it’s about so much more. If you don’t shed a tear by the time the credits roll, you may be dead. Or horrifically dehydrated.

Bonus Drinking Game

Take a Drink: whenever Senna wins a race.

Take a Drink: whenever Senna mentions God.

Take a Drink: whenever Senna is on a podium.

Down your Drink and sing along to the Brazilian anthem when Senna wins the Brazilian Grand Prix.

The Iron Lady (2011) DVD / Blu-ray

Bonus Drinking Game

Take a Drink: every time Thatcher sees or talks to her dead husband.

Take a Drink: for every flashback.

Take a Drink: whenever Maggie takes a drink.

Read the full The Iron Lady (2011) Review

The Iron Lady (2011) DVD / Blu-ray

By: crimebusterofthesea (Four Beers) -
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At a glance, The Iron Lady looks like the kind of film that could sweep this year’s Oscars. It’s got Meryl Streep, who gets nominated for best actress just for getting out of bed in the morning, as Margaret Thatcher, possibly the most contentious Prime Minister England has ever had. Streep is surrounded by a supporting cast full of British thesps (Jim Broadbent, Richard E. Grant, Olivia Colman), and there’s nothing the Academy loves more than to add a healthy dose of Britishness to proceedings every year. And much like Academy favourites The Queen and The King’s Speech before it, The Iron Lady concerns itself with a well-known figure from Britain’s past (or, if you prefer, Britain’s present, as Thatcher is obviously still alive).

A clean sweep at the Oscars is unlikely though. The Iron Lady shows a senile Thatcher trying to come to terms with the death of her husband as she recalls the events that shaped her life and political career. The film, however, can’t get away from the fact that Thatcher, whether it’s in real life or on the big screen, is a completely unlikeable figure. The film fails to play to its strengths and never really engages the viewer.

The British won’t be coming this year…

A Toast

The film is all about Streep and her performance as Thatcher. She completely inhabits the role. Her portrayal of a frail and powerless Thatcher is completely at odds with the image of the ‘Iron Lady’ that people remember. It almost makes you sympathise with her. Almost.

Aside from Streep’s inevitably strong performance, there is the relationship between Thatcher and her husband Denis (Broadbent). Throughout the film she sees him everywhere and talks to him, even though he has been dead for years. The sadness she feels over his death is the emotional core of the film, but it is sidelined and the film ends up being more of a greatest hits package of Thatcher’s political life.

Who can forget her Number 1 smash, ‘The Falklands’?

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A focus on what made Thatcher human, such as the sense of loss she felt over the death of her husband, would have made for a more engaging film. Instead the focus is on all of the events which, in the eyes of the British public, made her an uncaring monster. It is very hard to like Thatcher, and it is very hard to separate the opinion you already have of her from Streep’s performance.

The film hits all the marks you expect, but this comes across as just being lazy. We all know the highlights from her reign as Prime Minister; if people wanted to see them laid out again then they can watch a documentary.

Beer Three

The direction throughout The Iron Lady is sloppy. But what else should we expect from Phyllida Lloyd, the director of Mamma Mia!? Lines are repeated, some shots make no sense, and there is an over reliance on archive footage. All of this makes for a jarring viewing experience. The film is also lacking in any kind of subtlety. A shot near the end of the film showing Maggie cleaning a teacup is the cinematic equivalent of getting hit in the face with a brick. Over and over again.

The weak attempt at making Thatcher out as some kind of female icon doesn’t fly either. Clearly Lloyd was aiming for a similar audience to that of Mamma Mia!. If that is the case then she is very far off target.

Mamma Mia!: hardly the calling card of the next Scorsese.

Beer Four

As the film wears on, it becomes hard to care about events on screen. We already know how the story goes and as a result there is nothing else to keep the viewer engaged. The film leaves with you a feeling of indifference.

The ending is also a damp squib. Thatcher’s story isn’t truly over yet. She may spend her time coming to terms with the death of her husband, but films such as this usually end with the lead character dying. The fact that Thatcher is still shuffling around means that the film can’t come to the natural conclusion of other biopics. Her political career may be over, but the ‘Iron Lady’ lives on.

Verdict

Streep and Broadbent are good, but the relationship between their characters is shelved in favour of showing Thatcher in her prime, evolving into a political monster that becomes too big for her boots. Her shift from grocer’s daughter to the ‘Iron Lady’ makes no sense and it is difficult to root for such an unlikeable character. Oh, and Maggie? The Falklands are nothing at all like Hawaii.

Bonus Drinking Game

Take a Drink: every time Thatcher sees or talks to her dead husband.

Take a Drink: for every flashback.

Take a Drink: whenever Maggie takes a drink.

The Adventures of Tintin (2011) DVD / Blu-ray

By: crimebusterofthesea (Two Beers) -
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Tintin has been around for a long time. Despite his boyish quiff and baby faced appearance, he’s actually turning 82 this year. Tintin was created in 1929 by Belgian artist Hergé and since then he has not changed much. The quiff has stayed the same. The blue jumper and his loyal dog Snowy have been ever-present. So it is not surprising that the transition of Tintin from comic book page to big screen has been met with some opposition from long-time fans who are used to their hero staying the same. Who better, though, to take Hergé’s intrepid young journalist into the 21st century than the man Hergé himself described as “the only person who could ever do Tintin justice”?

Tintin: 82 years old, and still a teenager

That person is Steven Spielberg. And he is not just taking Tintin into the 21st century. In The Adventures of Tintin: the Secret of the Unicorn, he’s taking him into the third dimension as well.

The film begins with Tintin stumbling across an impressive looking model ship (the Unicorn of the title) in a flea market. As soon a he buys it a man comes running up and warns Tintin of what dangers may be ahead if he holds on to the ship. From here the adventure to discover the secret of the Unicorn begins.

A Toast

This 3D take on Tintin has not just breathed new life into a beloved, if aging character; it has also reinvigorated Spielberg. His previous directorial outing, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, is widely accepted as being a huge misstep in an almost flawless career. With Tintin, however, he is like a big kid with a new toy. His sense of fun has returned. The use of motion capture, a first for Spielberg, allowed him much more visual freedom when making the film. This makes possible some wonderful shots and action scenes.

Did anyone seriously enjoy this crime against humanity?

The pace of the action is relentless. A chase through the streets of a Middle Eastern town results in a tank pushing a hotel down the road, while Tintin (Jamie Bell) and Captain Haddock (Andy Serkis) pursue the villain of the piece, Sakharine (Daniel Craig). It is a truly remarkable sequence that anyone who still possesses an inner child will be captivated by.

What would normally be the main set piece in another film is in fact just one of many wonderful action sequences. At certain points the narrative jumps back in time as Haddock tells Tintin about his ancestor, the original captain of the Unicorn. The sea battles in these flashbacks are impressive. The sight of two great vessels colliding and blowing each other to pieces is the type of popcorn munching cinema Spielberg was born to make. Mercifully the use of 3D throughout is subtle and adds to the overall experience.

It is not just a film comprised of action scenes, however. This is a story populated with fully realised characters. There is time for us to get to know Haddock and Tintin, and time for us to truly come to despise Craig’s Sakharine. Even Snowy gets the chance to shine and make a case for himself to be considered the greatest canine in celluloid history.

Snowy: top dog

Beer Two

Despite a childhood love of Tintin, I must add a second beer for the childish moments that pop up throughout the film. While this is a film that can be enjoyed by kids and adults alike, some moments are just a bit too silly (Haddock kick starting a plane by belching into the fuel tank comes to mind). Dithering Interpol agents Thompson (Simon Pegg) and Thomson (Nick Frost) also only exist to provide some light relief for the kids just when things look to be getting too serious.

There is also a subplot about a notorious pickpocket that seems to serve no purpose other than to give Thompson and Thomson something to do. It’s a shame because it slows the pace of the film just when things really begin to get going.

Verdict

These are minor quibbles though. This is a treat for the eyes, and a treat for the kid in all of us. Tintin’s next adventure can’t come soon enough…

Bonus Drinking Game

Take a Drink: whenever Captain Haddock takes a drink

Take a Drink: whenever alcohol is mentioned or seen on screen

Take a Drink: whenever someone says ‘unicorn’

Take a Drink: whenever someone sustains a concussion

The Three Musketeers (2011) DVD / Blu-ray

By: crimebusterofthesea (Six Pack) -
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The Three Musketeers is like a packet of cigarettes. It comes with a very clear health warning. It appears on all the posters and promotional material for the film. If you read it though and decide to venture forth into your local multiplex, then you do so at your own peril. For this is a film ‘Directed by Paul W.S. Anderson’. And no, that’s not the guy who gave us Magnolia and There Will Be Blood.

Paul THOMAS Anderson: director of There Will Be Blood and other great films

Paul W.S. Anderson: director of Alien vs. Predator and other assorted crap

The inferior of the two Paul Andersons has brought us such classics as Resident Evil, Mortal Kombat and Resident Evil: Afterlife.  Staying true to form Anderson has now chosen to adapt Alexandre Dumas’ The Three Musketeers. Has this man ever had an original idea in his life?  Apparently not.

The film follows the Musketeers and their new recruit D’Artagnan (Logan Lerman) as they try to stop a plot by Cardinal Richlieu (Christoph Waltz) to take control of the French crown. Well, that’s supposed to be the plot but you could be forgiven for thinking the film didn’t have one.

A Toast

The sword fights are decent. I can’t think of anything else nice to say.

Beer Two

The Three Musketeers suffers from that time-honored American tradition of making the bad guys European. Cardinal Richlieu, Rochefort (Mads Mikkelsen) and Milady de Winter (Milla Jovovich) are all hissable villains from Europe. The Musketeers however are likable Brits, Matthew Macfadyen (Athos), Ray Stevenson (Porthos), and the other one that doesn’t get to do very much. The problem with our three Musketeers is that they aren’t leading men. They are good actors, but asking them to carry a film just doesn’t work. They all do well in supporting roles but at the forefront they collectively lack the charisma of one Ryan Reynolds.

Ryan Reynolds: ‘More charisma than all three Musketeers combined’

Beer Three

The plot of the film is almost non-existent. The faint one that is there is laughable. The view of everyone involved in this seems to have been that no one will care about the plot as long as the action keeps on coming. This means that you don’t really have time to care about the characters. There is more slow-motion in this film than there is characterisation. This would be fine if the action was enthralling and the slow-motion had a purpose, but unfortunately that is not the case.

Beer Four

The slow-motion in the film is awful. It’s jarring and pointless. It tends to be the lazy way to make something look cool. Unfortunately for Anderson it has the opposite effect. The sword fights work well when shown at full speed; slowing them down just ruins the pace of the action. I didn’t see the film in 3D, but there are some shots that are clearly designed to use it to its full effect (sword in your face!).  I can’t imagine this makes up for what is a wholly poor film however.

Beer Five

By the time Orlando Bloom appears in his airship you will soon realise that this is a film that you can’t even openly mock. It’s just not worth the effort (I do realise the irony of saying that and writing a 700 word review). Bloom has the hammiest of roles and somehow manages to underplay it. His Duke of Buckingham looks like a vaudeville villain; he even has the moustache for it. Bloom still can’t muster the performance for what could have been a career reviving role. I think it’s time young Orlando realised that his career has come to an ignominious end and he needs to stop before he ends up like Edward Furlong.

Edward Furlong: “I was in a good movie once!”

Beer Six

There is much wrong with The Three Musketeers, but what nudges it in to six-pack territory is Logan Lerman, who plays D’Artagnan. It’s unfortunate that he has been told to keep his accent for the film. An American accent in 17th century France just doesn’t sound right. It’s like when Costner kept his Californian twang for Robin Hood. It sounds terrible and grates for the whole film. It also doesn’t help that he comes across as being extremely annoying. He’s young and definitely has a bright future, but this was a definite misstep in a fledgling career. If he’s lucky he won’t end up like Edward Furlong. Or worse, Orlando Bloom.

Orlando Bloom: “I was in a good movie once too !”

Verdict

If you liked any previous Anderson films then you may enjoy this. If you have any taste then you won’t. We didn’t need another Musketeer film, and we certainly didn’t need another Paul W.S. Anderson film. Avoid unless extremely pissed drunk.

Bonus Drinking Game

Take a Drink: whenever Aramis actually gets to say something.

Take a Drink: whenever D’Artagnan acts like a cocky bastard.

Take a Drink: whenever something historically inaccurate appears (airship, Orlando Bloom, etc..)

Take a Drink: whenever the camera leers over Milla Jovovich

Drink a Shot: every time they say ‘all for one, and one for all’.

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy (2011) DVD / Blu-ray

By: crimebusterofthesea (A Toast) -
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Every once in a while a movie comes along that stands out for all the right reasons. It’s different from the blockbusters that fall from the Hollywoodconveyer belt. It entertains and enthrals, without having things exploding in your face. It doesn’t speak down to its audience, but instead appreciates that the average cinema goer can follow a plot. Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy is one such film.

Based on John Le Carre’s novel, Tinker, Tailor follows British Intelligence veteran George Smiley (Gary Oldman) as he comes out of retirement to uncover a Soviet mole at the very top of MI6. The main suspects are given codenames: Tinker, Tailor, Soldier and Poor Man. The fifth suspect however is Smiley himself. This shortlist of suspects leads to much tension and suspicion. The result is a slow burning, yet engrossing mystery that will keep those unfamiliar with the original novel guessing until the end.

A Toast

Much praise has been lavished upon Gary Oldman’s performance in Tinker, Tailor and it is fair to say this praise is well deserved. A long overdue Oscar nomination must surely now be coming his way. Oldman has taken a character that comes across as being a fairly ordinary but intelligent man, and instils in him a silent intensity. There seems to be something constantly going on behind Smiley’s eyes. You can see the cogs in his mind turning as the plot steadily unravels. He is one of the most unassuming heroes in cinema since Gregory Peck brought Atticus Finch to life.

“Atticus Finch: the greatest hero in cinema.”

“Tough break Batman, Superman….. Jesus…”

While many are paying tribute to Oldman, much of the credit for Tinker, Tailor’s brilliance is due to director Tomas Alfredson. Best known for Let the Right One In, Alfredson provides more than a steady hand. In a film like this it is difficult to keep things interesting visually. Alfredson however succeeds in keeping things fresh and engaging (watch out for how he introducesBudapest). If Oldman deserves an Oscar nod, then the Academy must also honour Alfredson.

“Let the right one in. So not this one covered in blood then?”

Verdict

The performances in Tinker, Tailor are great. The film is visually excellent. You will be hard pushed to find a film that is as tense, intelligent and engaging. And I don’t just mean this year. If you can think of a better, similar film since All the President’s Men, let me know, because I can’t. So go and see this.

Bonus Drinking Game

Take a Drink: every time there is a flashback.

Take a Drink: every time someone looks suspicious

Take a Drink: whenever someone says a word from the film’s title

Drink a Shot: whenever someone gets shot

The Inbetweeners Movie (2011) DVD / Blu-ray

By: crimebusterofthesea (Two Beers) -
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Television shows transplanting themselves from small to big screen do not always prove to be particularly successful. It’s a risky move to hope that the goodwill of fans will carry over into the multiplexes and that the quality of story does not get lost in the move from one medium to another. There are probably around half as many successes (Serenity, Mission: Impossible, South Park) as failures (Lost in Space, the Last Airbender, Bewitched, Dukes of Hazzard etc.). Based on the television show The Inbetweeners, the appropriately titled The Inbetweeners Movie thankfully falls in to the group of successes. Fans of the show will have expected this, but non-believers will now surely be converted by an inevitably crude but surprisingly heart-felt farewell to the Inbetweener boys.

Serenity: very good

Bewitched: very not good

The general plot of the show was to watch Will, Simon, Jay and Neil as they tried and failed to have sex and get drunk. The film steps things up and takes the boys from theLondonsuburbs and sends them on their summer holidays toCrete. Once they arrive, looking like four shit Reservoir Dogs, the laughs and booze flow freely and do so for the entire film.

A Toast

It is very rare for a television show to take its component parts and make itself into a good film. On the occasion when this does happen however it has to be acknowledged and applauded. The Inbetweeners Movie comfortably fits its 97 minute running time. At no point does it feel like the jokes or the story is spread thin. A whole season’s worth of classic moments is crammed into one film. It will be hard to find another release this year that can match The Inbetweeners Movie for the sheer volume of laughs that it has.

The potential for the new Underworld film to be hilariously awful is quite high though

For long time fans of the show all the right notes are hit. There are plenty of sure to be classic lines to take away from The Inbetweeners Movie and everything that was left hanging at the end of the third season is resolved. While there is plenty for the seasoned Inbetweeners fan to enjoy (we finally see Will’s dad, for example), this is not strictly for diehard followers of the show. There is plenty to enjoy here for someone who is going into The Inbetweeners Movie without any prior knowledge.

While it may mainly trade in laughs The Inbetweeners Movie is not without it’s more touching moments. The moment Jay realises that Simon will be going off to University and that their friendship has an expiry date is quite sad. The effort is also made to make this actually look like a film and not just a stretched out episode of the TV show. The opening shot moving down through the clouds and in to the suburbs is impressive. There are plenty of wide shots of beaches, boats and beautiful blue ocean which is a far cry from the smaller scope of the TV show.

If you’re having hard time selling this to your friends just say it’s Superbad, but with English kids (and more laughs)

Beer Two

I am going to tentatively add a second beer for the reason that The Inbetweeners Movie does follow a very clear formula. While it might trump its peers for laughs, it does not try to stray from the structure we would expect of every teen comedy. This is a minor flaw in a very strong film however.

Verdict

If you want to be lazy about it this is the British Superbad. The Inbetweeners Movie easily stands out on its own however, and is a more than fitting farewell to Will, Simon, Jay and Neil (though considering the strong box office it’s had in the UK already, a sequel is probably on the way so we will get to say goodbye…again!).

Bonus Drinking Game

Take a drink: every time Simon mentions Carly

Take a drink: whenever Simon, Jay, Neil or Will take a drink

Take a drink: whenever Jay says or does something moderately offensive

And if you have the right amounts of courage and stupidity: Drink a suicide shot when Neil drinks his

Martyrs (2008) DVD / Blu-ray

By: crimebusterofthesea (Five Beers) -
Note: There is a rating embedded within this post, please visit this post to rate it.

Martyrs is a film about revenge. The plot centres on attractive young woman Lucie, and her attempt to exact revenge on the people who abused and imprisoned her as a child. Helping her is her friend, Anna, who is also, coincidentally, an attractive young woman. Throughout the film they beat, shoot and kill. Though this might sound like a ringing endorsement, it is not. Martyrs ends up being a complete mess of a film. Initially it seems to promise 90 minutes of bloody, visceral fun. In the end, however, it has completely lost the run of itself and you will struggle to care about watching until its conclusion.

Morjana Alaoui plays Anna. Attractive. Young. And almost definitely a woman.

A Toast

One thing that Martyrs does do successfully is grab a hold of your attention. We are first shown a young girl running from some unseen evil. She is bloodied, bruised and running for her life. We see her being rehabilitated and making friends in an orphanage. She is then attacked in her bed at night. The film then jumps forward 15 years and we see a family eating breakfast. As odd as this all sounds, Martyrs only ends up making less and less sense. What happens next is probably the best part of the entire film, it’s just a shame Martyrs cannot keep up the same level of intensity and intrigue for the rest of its running time.

Beer Two

Martyrs ends up feeling like two completely different films that have been forced together. Actually it’s more like 22 films that have been mixed into one big pot of insanity. It starts off as a small revenge tale, which is fine, but then blows itself up into something much, much bigger. Maybe if it had remained as a revenge flick it would have been a passable thriller. Instead it just gets so bloated that it makes no sense and becomes unintentionally funny.

Beer Three

This is a film that prides itself on its twists. There is one after the other every few minutes. The only problem is that if you have ever seen a film, you will see most of them coming. The ones you do not predict however are so unbelievably ridiculous that any chances of taking the film seriously are gone. Good twists are for good films. And M. Night Shyamalan.

M. Night Shyamalan: What a twist!

Beer Four

With no discernibly good idea left to put in to Martyrs, it descends to the lazy, redundant genre of ‘torture-porn’. It ends up resembling the Hostel films and the sequels of the Saw franchise. If you enjoy watching someone being tied to a chair and beaten this film might be for you but it’s just not entertaining. It’s not that the violence is off-putting, it’s just so boring. Once you have seen James Bond getting his balls pummelled in Casino Royale, there’s not much else left to see.

Ever wonder why Bond has all that sex and no illegitimate kids? This is why.

Beer Five

If you do make it to the conclusion of Martyrs, well done. The ultimate reveal however is so unfulfilling that you will wish you turned it off half-way through. It is almost worth watching though, just for how insane it really is. You will end up worrying about the mental stability of the people who wrote it. It’s just that crazy.

Verdict

This just about avoids being a six beer movie because of a decent first few minutes. It also winds up being one of those films that you can insult while you watch, which is always fun. It is truly awful though. I will never be able to trust or look at another French person after watching this. Mon Dieu!

French people: bloody mental

Bonus Drinking Game

Take a drink: every time you think or say ‘What the fuck?!?!’

Take a drink: every time someone dies

Drink a shot: whenever someone says the title of the film

Down your drink: when you can’t bear to watch any more while sober

TrollHunter (2010) DVD / Blu-ray

By: crimebusterofthesea (Two Beers) -
Note: There is a rating embedded within this post, please visit this post to rate it.

TrollHunter comes from a long line of ‘found footage’ films. Like The Blair Witch Project, Cloverfield, and Alien Abduction: the McPherson Tape (or Alien Abduction: Incident in Lake County depending on where you live) before it, TrollHunter claims to be a film made from the footage captured by amateurs, in this case three Norwegian college students. Though this may sound like a negative, TrollHunter manages to take an unoriginal format and match it with a unique and fun idea. We follow our three college students, Thomas, Johanna and Kalle as they stumble across the world of troll hunting and the cover-ups and creatures at the centre of it.

One of the many things they uncover is that it was a troll on the grassy knoll

A Toast

There is much to like about TrollHunter. It does not take long for the action to get going, and once it does it moves at a good pace. The effects are impressive for a film that does not have the clout of aHollywood budget behind it. These trolls look real, big and scary. While it might not have as many explosions or things that go ‘boom’ as your typical blockbuster, it is undoubtedly more entertaining.

The dedication to the ‘found footage’ format is also commendable. At one point in the film the camera falls and there is a crack on the lens. Instead of disappearing in the next scene the broken lens is there for a good four or five minutes. The sound quality is also not always perfect. Some may find this annoying, but this just adds to the realism of TrollHunter, and makes it a more effective film.

Beer Two

The limitations of the format do take away from the film sometimes, unfortunately. There are times when you want the camera to be pointing at the action, when instead everyone’s running and it’s pointing at the ground. While this adds to the film’s realism, it does get aggravating. It is also hard to shake the feeling of ‘been there, seen that’ when everyone is just running around the woods looking scared. TrollHunter may be an original idea, but it’s hard to shake the comparisons to its predecessors.

There are a few similarities between TrollHunter and another film where people run around scared in the woods….

Verdict

Films that are as original, entertaining, fun and most importantly, not terrible, as this do not come around very often. If you are not a fan of the Cloverfields of this world, this may not be for you. In which case, what’s wrong with you? It’s a film called TrollHunter. Who wouldn’t like the sound of that? Watch it now. Before the inevitable remake set inAlaska with Shia LaBeouf and Andy Serkis doing the motion capture for every troll.

Andy Serkis: future troll

Bonus Drinking Game

Take a drink: whenever someone says ‘troll’

Chug a beer: whenever someone is running from a troll

Drink a shot: every time a troll is killed

Pan's Labyrinth (2006) DVD / Blu-Ray

By: Crimebusterofthesea (A Toast) -
Note: There is a rating embedded within this post, please visit this post to rate it.

Guillermo Del Toro’s clear love of all things magical and mystical, and his skill at portraying such subject matter on screen, made him a shoo-in to be given the director’s job for The Hobbit. While that job may not have worked out, (and now rests in the capable hands of Peter Jackson), Middle Earth’s loss may well be our gain, because if this gives del Toro more time to create gems like Pan’s Labyrinth then we are all in for a treat.

For years Del Toro was honing his skills on films like Cronos, The Devil’s Backbone, and big budget pictures like Hellboy and Blade II. All of this experience fed into the creation of what has been the stand-out film so far in an already solid catalogue of work.

Only one of the things Blade and a little Spanish girl named Ofelia end up having in common

A Toast

Pan’s Labyrinth takes place in the aftermath of the Spanish Civil War. The rebel fighters have been defeated and fascism reigns. It is no surprise that in this world our young protagonist Ofelia escapes into her own imagination. Her concerns are for fairies, fauns and magical kingdoms. Ofelia has clearly suffered through much in her young life and she allows herself to escape from reality. When she does meet the eponymous faun, Pan, he tells her she is a princess from a magical kingdom. To prove that she has not turned mortal however she must complete some challenges.

Fauns? Fairies? If Ofelia was a kid today she would be pumped full of Ritalin

When we first meet Ofelia and her mother they are on their way to begin a new life with Ofelia’s ‘new father’, Captain Vidal. Sergi López’s Vidal is one of the great screen villains. Unlike say, Hans Landa in Inglourious Basterds, he is not lovably evil, he’s just a bastard (one scene in particular – which I will not ruin, but must be watched – would put you off hunting rabbits in the foothills of Spain for life).

He smokes a pipe! This guy can’t be that bad.

The fairytale world Del Toro creates allows him to conjure up some great creatures. The Faun and the ‘Pale Man’, both played by regular Del Toro collaborator Doug Jones, would give any grown man nightmares. While Del Toro may be known for his unique monsters, the relationships between the human characters are what hold Pan’s Labyrinth together and makes it the modern fantasy masterpiece that it is.

The ‘Pale Man’: not the best dinner party guest.

Verdict

A toast! A must watch if you are a fan of foreign cinema or Guillermo Del Toro or if you’re a human being.

Bonus Drinking Game

Take a drink: for every Spanish word you understand

Take a drink: whenever anyone gets shot

Drink a shot: whenever Vidal kills someone