Trailer Reviews: The Foreigner, Happy Death Day, & Professor Marston and the Wonder Women

By: Hawk Ripjaw –

The Foreigner

Remember all that buzz about how Jackie Chan refused to use guns in his American movies because he didn’t want to send a bad message to the kids or something? And then he proceeded to do the Kill Bill heart-exploding punch thing to a bunch of bad guys? Now, I don’t know if The Foreigner technically qualifies as one of his American movies, but I’m pretty sure it’s safe to say that his gun rule has a price tag. As in, “you get one unloaded magazine per zero on that paycheck.” Of course, trailers lie, and Jackie Chan, despite his stance on guns, probably says that mostly because he can kill you in five different ways before your body hits the ground. It would generally be less interesting that the apparent majority of the movie features Pierce Brosnan doing shady political stuff. However, given that this is directed by Martin Campbell (Casino RoyaleEdge of Darkness), there is potential for character nuance. Also However, this is directed by Martin Campbell (Green Lantern, Vertical Limit), who has made some very lifeless, boring movies. 

 Beer Prediction


Look, there’s no way it’s going to be that bad. Not even Renny Harlin can fuck up a Jackie Chan performance.


Happy Death Day

The Groundhog Day template is so interchangable for so many concepts. Edge of Tomorrow adopted the concept to a fun, cheeky sci-fi action format.  Source Code, meandering ending notwithstanding, is a delight. I’m quite certain that Netflix’s Naked is a disaster, and Premature, about a teenager whose day resets every time he climaxes, is a funny concept that cannot possibly make a good movie. This weird, specific subgenre has many reasons to work and many more to fail. Happy Death Day should hopefully fall into the former camp. The idea that she keeps injuries from each death and it just makes her weaker and more vulnerable gives a much greater sense of urgency, and might be exactly what this needs to be memorable. 

Beer Prediction

That baby mask is pretty effective, too.


Professor Marston and the Wonder Women

It’s a movie about a man who created a female character who ties people up to force them to tell the truth, but her impossible strength can be diminished if you manage to tie her up. I’m not sure if I’m watching a drama about comic book characters or a 60 Minutes segment about sex perverts. Actually, this looks way better. I honestly thought this was a documentary about the creation of Wonder Woman, but instead it’s a crazy love triangle involving three people, one of which created Wonder Woman. If this feeds into psychology as much as I hope it will, I’ll be happier than a college freshman with a Wonder Woman poster. That’s not weird, right?

Beer Prediction

There aren’t  many romance stories like this, so you might as well take advantage of it.

About Hawk Ripjaw

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