By: Hawk Ripjaw –
A good, catchy song can go a long way to selling a trailer. Take, for example, the trailer for Ferdinand. It’s intermittently funny, but doesn’t really leave any sort of lasting impression beyond Ferdinand almost killing a rodent, which causes said rodent to suffer a heart attack. It looks pleasant enough, in a way that a lot of Blue Sky Animation movies aspire to and sometimes hit. But somehow, the trailer editing and that frustratingly catchy Ed Sheeran song gave me that “I’m ready to see this” feeling that I really shouldn’t get for a movie about a talking bull (the song also has literally nothing to do with the movie, either). Surely the movie can’t be that endearing, but it certainly can’t be that bad either, right? It’s from the director of the first three Ice Age movies, Robots, and both Rio films, so there’s a pretty wide margin of quality there.
I just know I’m gonna fucking hate those hedgehogs, though.
Star Wars: The Last Jedi
I will never forgive the asshole who spoiled an important Force Awakens death for me in an article whose headline mentioned an important death and showed the dude’s face in the header image. I did not click the article, it was a sidebar ad. The morning of the movie’s official release. It didn’t stop the movie from being entertaining, but I was definitely not happy at the lack of surprise. Sadly, I won’t even get to see this until next week. That means I have six fucking days to completely avoid all spoilers around one of the biggest releases of the year and what people are calling the best Star Wars since Empire Strikes Back. Which means there is roughly a billion percent chance that I’m going to get spoiled.
I’m gonna do it. I’m going to avoid every single spoiler if it means I have to call Comcast and tell them to switch me off for a week.