By: Hawk Ripjaw –
Editor’s Note: Since apparently nobody in America went to the movies this weekend (it was the worst in 16 years!), running this now still seems entirely timely.
Pour one out really quick for Polaroid, a dire-looking adaptation of a short film about a Polaroid camera that unleashes Final Destination on whoever you take a picture of. The trailer gets progressively more idiotic & hilarious the longer it goes on.
I was going to review Polaroid, but it seems to have disappeared. I’m a little disappointed.
Birth of the Dragon
This is a weird one. Birth of the Dragon is a Blumhouse Tilt/WWE Studios movie, and directed by George Nolfi, who directed The Adjustment Bureau and wrote a Bourne sequel, an Ocean’s sequel, and that kinda-fun supernatural military movie Spectral. Just based on the trailer, I don’t think I have any idea what’s going on. It’s a Bruce Lee movie, but is he a vigilante, movie star, aspiring martial artist, or all three? Why is he fighting all of those people? Why hasn’t he gotten arrested? Is it all just part of the movies he acts in? Is he even the main character? Do I even care?
Ehhh….nah. I don’t.
Oh wow, cool, look at all of the things an adult male moviegoer will be interested in with Leap! A orphan girl who wants to be a ballerina; her eventual love interest that builds inventions, for some reason; an off-putting mashup of slapstick, underdog dance drama, and steampunk; boring animation; training montages; Elle Fanning.
Not that there should only be movies made for me, but at the same time it’s hard to get excited for anything this is offering. Also I’m pretty sure it was made way the hell long before it actually came out, which has been a good sign… like never?
Might as well just see Inhumans in IMAX. How shitty does that look? Way more fun than this does, and I can say that with confidence.