By: Hawk Ripjaw –
Watch one with your mom, watch one with your child/nephew, watch one every day for the rest of your life. Choose.
50 Shades Darker
The only documentary I would love to watch more than one based on the failure of Fant4stic is one about the production of the first 50 Shades movie. I want to know how a movie with this much internal turmoil even got finished. What with two actors that have a hilarious lack of chemistry, and E.L. James apparently having such a psychotically tight grip on her source material that she threw out any ideas that weren’t directly from her book and insisted her husband write the sequel. I keep reading things about how tumultuous the production of this series has been, and it only increases my interest in it. It’s a further mark of my apparent hatred for myself, since I read the first book before the movie, and tried reading the second book before Friday but failed after getting sick. Now I’m actually intrigued by the fact that I’ll be seeing the new movie while still quite sick, with no appetite, and a stomachache of unknown origin (either I’m sick or I know I have to watch 50 Shades and my body is protesting violently). Bring it on.
There’s something wrong with me.
John Wick: Chapter 2
Just as the original 50 Shades of Grey was a revelation for how many people could like something so terrible, the original John Wick was a revelation for action movies. It was a badass revenge flick that proved that, yes, Keanu Reeves can be forgiven for 47 Ronin. The stunts were real, Keanu was actually emoting, and just the right amount of worldbuilding hinted at an intriguing underground organization of enforcers. While it remains to be seen whether a premise as simple as “you killed my dog” will remain intact for the sequel, we can be sure that Wick is going to kick as much ass as he did a couple of years ago. This is the real medicine.
This is the real Valentine’s Day movie.
The LEGO Batman Movie
Here we are with another revelation. The LEGO Movie was supposed to suck. It was supposed to be a vehicle solely for selling toys. What it really ended up being was that year’s funniest animated movie, nearly that year’s funniest movie flat-out, and the apparent beginning of a new cinematic universe, which is so hot right now. To top it off, The LEGO Batman Movie is poised to be the best DC movie of the year, not to mention the past couple of years. I know that bar is about as high as a literal LEGO figure, but we’re long overdue for another good Batman movie and I’m having a hard time trusting Zack Snyder after what he did in Batman v Superman, great Affleck performance be damned. People are already calling this the best Batman movie since The Dark Knight, which is… hopefully a given. Luckily, director Chris McKay has a bunch of episodes of Robot Chicken and Moral Orel under his belt, so we should be fine.
We’re about to watch a movie based on a toy do Batman better than a live action movie someone spent over $400 million on.