By: Hawk Ripjaw –
Some WB executive somewhere: “You wanna watch some wuss be sad about getting old and having metal claws, or do you want to watch fucking King Kong slam dunk a boulder onto a dinosaur’s head?”
(full disclosure, I loved Logan.)
Kong: Skull Island
Hollywood has embarked on a weird trend recently of seeing a director make one cool indie movie, and giving them a huge fuck-off budget and the reins to a major franchise.
Gareth Edwards: “You made Monsters, a drama about people and some creatures. Here’s $160 million to reboot Godzilla!”
Josh Trank: “You made Chronicle, a found-footage movie about kids with superpowers! Here’s $125 million to make Fant4stic! Don’t mess it up!”
They start to make less sense.
Marc Webb: “You made 500 Days of Summer, that drama about two people that break up! Here’s $230 million to make The Amazing Spider-Man!”
Colin Trevorrow: “You made Safety Not Guaranteed, a quirky mumblecore time travel drama. Here’s $150 million to make Jurassic World!”
Jordan Vogt-Roberts: “You made Kings of Summer, a coming-of-age drama. Here’s $190 million to make Kong: Skull Island!”
And so the cycle continues. Each of these films has had varying degrees of success, but this continuation of the MCU (That’s MONSTER Cinematic Universe this time) has, like Godzilla, a really bomb-ass trailer and some really cool visuals. We’ve all been fooled enough on that, but Kong, also like Godzilla, has a built-in cool factor. Skull Island also has the benefit of a lot of very attractive people acting in it. This cast is more stacked than a season of SNL, and, if it follows the trend of Godzilla, will probably have about as much character development as a season of SNL. Will the monster violence help us forget that the characters are only there to provide framing context to King Kong killing stuff?
One thing we can be absolutely certain of in this movie is that Kong is going to bust up some monsters. This is what the world needs right now.