Trailer Reviews: Alpha, Crazy Rich Asians & Mile 22

By: Haw Ripjaw –

Alpha

Marketing for Alpha has been bizarre, and pretty much none of the trailers released for it have looked remotely good. It looks visually good, sure, but I gotta say that nothing sounds remotely interesting about a prehistoric survival story with a boy and this wolf he befriended. I’m a huge dog person, but some reason it’s really hard for me to give a shit about a movie that pretty clearly appears to end with both main characters being absolutely fine. Your movie about the dawn of the relationship between human and canine is very likely not going to end with that bond being broken, otherwise there wouldn’t be a bond enduring through millennia.

Alpha has also had a really weird path to release. It’s been delayed at least a couple of times, and the trailers and TV spots seem to be casting as wide a net as possible for tone. Look, this trailer is less epic and depressing and more “Look, a kid and his dog are having fun!” Movies that go down this path usually don’t end up being good, and Alpha looks like it might be heading down the same path.

Beer Prediction

Fuck it, I’ve got AMC A-List so I might as well go for IMAX. At least it’ll look cool.

 

Crazy Rich Asians

There’s something very pleasant-looking about Crazy Rich Asians, and this is coming from someone who watches an average of three romantic comedies every decade. It looks a bit more genuine that you usually see from the genre, plus it already established the couple as an actual couple, instead of two strangers that happen to find each other in the middle of a movie that has no other reason to exist. The central conflict here looks more natural, the characters and world feel a little more lived-in, and the overall aesthetic looks just great. Say what you want about Jon Chu, but he makes good-looking movies regardless of quality (except for Jem and the Holograms, there’s almost nothing good to say about that). I love how bright, colorful, and dynamic the settings and costumes look in this trailer.

More importantly, the recent increase of racial diversity in Hollywood leads should bode well for the industry in the coming years. Up until now, Hollywood made its movies palatable to Eastern audiences by halfheartedly setting the climax in China. Soon, we might make the upgrade to actual cultural flavor.

Beer Prediction

I think I just talked myself into seeing this.

 

Mile 22

The more I watch this trailer, the stupider the movie starts to look. Not that it doesn’t look like a lot of fun, but there’s a pretty distinct rift between the serious American dramatic thrillers Peter Berg makes with Marky Mark, and what Mile 22 looks like it’s shaping up to be. If this is what I’m guessing–dumb, loud, and not very serious–then I have to give Peter Berg some credit for trying to cut loose a little bit and have some fun. In this case, it doesn’t appear to translate to something that’s actually good (and isn’t this trailer just awful in how it’s edited?). That said, it does seem to be kind of trashy and stupid and ironically kind of awesome in the way that fun-bad movies can be. Or, it might be actually good.

Beer Prediction

It’s Fuck Shit Up O’Clock, and Mark Wahlberg is wearing the watch.

About Hawk Ripjaw

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