Tuesday, September 2, 2014
LATEST:
The MovieBoozer Awards: The Boozies 2014 Winners!

The MovieBoozer Awards: The Boozies 2014 Winners!

By: Henry J. Fromage -

And now, after days upon days of campaigning and deliberations, full of posh sponsored parties and all of the vaginal rejuvenation kit-filled swag bags you can shake a stick at, our voting has been completed, the results are in, and I am proud to present the winners of the 2014 Boozies!  All winners will receive, ummm, psychic good will?  The fame and fortune that are sure to follow?  Something… something, I’m sure.

Winners are in Bold, because we roll like that.

 

Best Impaired Female Performance: Best performance of a female being drunk or otherwise impaired in a movie.

Jennifer Lawrence The Boozies, The Boozies, MovieBoozer, Best Impaired Performance

Anna Kendrick in Drinking Buddies

Cate Blanchett in Blue Jasmine

Jennifer Lawrence in American Hustle (Winner)

Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy in The Heat

That girl in the bikini in Springbreakers.  No the other one.  No. Whatever, all them.

 

Best Impaired Male Performance: Best performance of a male being drunk or otherwise impaired in a movie.

Leonardo DiCaprio The Boozies, The Boozies, MovieBoozer

Eric Roberts in A Talking Cat !?!

Jonah Hill in The Wolf of Wall Street

Leonardo DiCaprio in The Wolf of Wall Street (Winner)

Miles Teller in The Spectacular Now

Simon Pegg in The World’s End

 

Best Beer Goggle Movie: Movie most improved with the consumption of beer.

Sharknado The Boozies, The Boozies, MovieBoozer

G.I. Joe: Retaliation

Pacific Rim

Pain & Gain

Sharknado (Winner)

This is the End

 

The Blacked Out, Forgotten About Award: Most overlooked movie of the year (Overlooked by audiences and/or critics).

Inside Llewyn Davis The Boozies, The Boozies, MovieBoozer

Inside Llewyn Davis (Winner)

Mud

Only God Forgives

Prisoners

The Kings of Summer

 

Hunter S. Thompson Award: Trippiest, most bizarre movie of the year.

Spring Breakers The Boozies, The Boozies, MovieBoozer

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 (I do not know what Acid is like, but I imagine it is like this)

John Dies at the End

Only God Forgives

Spring Breakers (Winner)

Upstream Color

 

Best Buzz Kill Scene in a Movie: Scene that killed your buzz.

12 Years a Slave The Boozies, The Boozies, MovieBoozer

Alien’s Last Scene in Spring Breakers/Alien’s Monologue in Spring Breakers

The last 10 minutes of Captain Phillips

12 Years a Slave: All of the Scenes (Winner)

Hugh Jackman takes off his scarf: Movie 43

The Hangover 3 (just The Hangover 3)

 

The Sucker Punch Award: Most exciting movie that turned out to be crap of the year

Man of Steel The Boozies, The Boozies, MovieBoozer

A Good Day to Die Hard

Elysium

Man of Steel (Winner)

Riddick

The Wolverine

 

Best Microbrewvie: Best indie film of the year

Fruitvale Station The Boozies, The Boozies, MovieBoozer

Before Midnight

Don Jon

Fruitvale Station (Winner)

The Kings of Summer

The Spectacular Now

 

The Six Pack of the Year: A disgrace in Filmmaking, the worst movie of the year

Movie 43 The Boozies, The Boozies, MovieBoozer

A Good Day to Die Hard

Grown Ups 2

InAPPropriate Comedy

Movie 43 (Winner)

Tyler Perry’s Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor

 

The Toast of the Year!: An achievement in Filmmaking; Raise a Toast!

The Wolf of Wall Street The Boozies, The Boozies, MovieBoozer

12 Years a Slave

Dallas Buyers Club

Gravity

Her

The Wolf of Wall Street (Winner)

Leave a Reply