By: Henry J. Fromage –
“You know what really could use a dark, gritty reboot? The Mummy, that’s what!” – Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci (the guys who sometimes write Star Trek, and sometimes write Transformers). These two will produce the property nobody ever asked for, with Jon Spaights (half of the writing duo of Prometheus) handling the script… and Len Wiseman (Total Recall) directing. Seems like somebody’s been playing Shitty Franchise Reboot Mad Libs again.
Ooh, and write Kate Beckinsale in the “Will Star” space!
Now for some news from the anti-Len Wiseman, Terrence Malick. No, this speed demon isn’t going to direct yet another film this decade. Instead, he’ll just be producing frequent collaborator A.J. Edwards’s Green Blade Rising. The intriguing part is the premise- the raising of Abraham Lincoln. Jason Clarke (the way underrated Brotherhood) will play Lincoln’s father, and Diane Kruger will play Sarah Bush Lincoln, his step-mother who was a great influence on what he was to become. Sounds like we have a potential slumber party double feature staple with Spielberg’s Lincoln on our hands.
If the Team Malick vs. Team Spielberg fighting doesn’t get out of hand
So, an “anti-romantic comedy” staring Chris Evans and Michelle Monaghan… sounds like something I can avoid. Wait, you’re calling the Black List script something in between Amelie and (500) Days of Summer? Well, you’ve got my attention now. A Many Splintered Thing will star Evans as a cynical man who is attracted to a woman (Monaghan) he meets while posing as a philanthropist at a charity dinner, only to find out that she’s already engaged. I can see where the “anti-” part of “anti-romantic comedy” comes from, as he goes ahead and acts as her platonic friend in order to pursue his romantic intentions. Maybe they’ll throw us a real curveball and have the fiancée be an innocuous, sympathetic character who doesn’t understand why he’s getting screwed over so thoroughly. Hmmm, maybe played by… Jason Segel?
Seriously, who could intentionally hurt this guy?