By: Henry J. Fromage –

Poor, poor Andrew Stanton.  It appears that he’s finally admitted defeat after his first, disastrous foray into live action film-making with John Carter.  Many laid the blame for the financial failure of the film at his feet, ignoring the fact that he delivered a beautifully made, solidly entertaining flick and then let Disney run one of the most wrong-headed marketing campaigns in recent memory for it.  Anyway, studios haven’t exactly been beating down his door with offers, which means that, even though he said he didn’t want to do it in the past, he’s now signed onto a sequel to his biggest financial success: Finding Nemo.  It’s unknown as yet if Taylor Kitsch will be pursued to voice Nemo, although speculation seems to point towards it.

Also, maybe they can get Larry the Cable Guy to voice a whale or something

Speaking of losing jobs due to the disappointing returns of entertaining properties, Dan Harmon (Community) and Charlie Kaufman (who’s ambitious Frank or Francis is looking dead in the water) might be able to give Stanton a little advice.  Or maybe they can just offer him a job on Anomalisa, the Kickstarter-funded new stop-motion animated film they’re collaborating on with Community actor and Morel Orel creator Dino Stamatopoulos.  The movie will center on a motivational speaker who’s starting to wonder about the apparent meaninglessness of life until he meets a girl with a vitality that inspires him to leave everything and run off with her.  Yes, this is stop-motion animated, and yes, it sounds about as wonderfully uncommercial as you would hope for from these folks.

Also, yes, Starburns made Morel Orel.  How’s that for some pop culture knowledge?

On the opposite end of the commerciality spectrum, we have Harker.  This script about the investigator from Bram Stoker’s Dracula has been around for awhile, but it looks like it’ll finally be moving forward under the direction of Eli Roth of all people, who hasn’t directed since… Hostel, Part II?  Damn.  Anyways, this flick will turn Harker into a Scotland Yard investigator of the paranormal, which the studio probably hopes has franchise potential.  With Russell Crowe on board in the title role, it just might, but damn, haven’t we seen enough public domain horror reimaginings by now?

Either Crowe has some serious tax problems, or John Cusack stopped returning his agent’s calls