By: Henry J. Fromage –

Today in unnecessary remakes: What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? This 1962 classic pitted Bette Davis as a run-down old child star taking care of her formerly far more successful and now crippled older sister, played by Joan Crawford.  It’s one of the most psychological fucked up films out there, and honestly I can’t really see any improvements that need to be made or any way to update it that won’t feel incredibly cheap.  That isn’t stopping Walter Hill (48 Hours, The Warriors) from giving it a shot, though.  Obviously he’s hoping for a Meryl Streep-level of actress, but I kind of doubt that’ll come to pass.  Anything less would feel like a cop-0ut.

Although I would accept Nick Nolte in Davis’s role with the right makeup.

It seems like just about every high-profile actor would like to get behind the camera for a change at least once, and it now seems Will Smith is no exception.  He recently signed up to produce, direct, and star in The Legend of Cain, which is apparently a version of the story of Cain and Abel, but with “a vampiric twist.”  That’s unfortunately all the information we have at the moment, although Tambay from the often fascinating blog Shadow & Act has an interesting theory that Smith may borrow from the role-playing game Vampire: The Masquerade, in which Cain is presented as the first vampire, cursed by God with immortality and four of Angels with weakness to fire, vulnerability to sunlight, thirst for blood, and constant betrayal respectively after he refuses to repent of his murder of Abel to each of them in turn.  It’s an interesting origin story for the vampire myth, although personally I think I may have reached my vampire saturation point in, oh, 1995?

Yet to be topped.

In news I actually am excited about, the writer/director of one of my favorite films from last year, Martha Marcy May Marlene, Sean Durkin, has lined up his next project.  Now the musical biopic isn’t usually my forte, but I trust his vision for Joplin.  The film will be about the famous musician who battled addiction and misfortune even while enjoying great success, before finally succumbing at a young age to the ravages of a life lived too fast.  Yes, clearly I’m talking about famous ragtime composer Scott Joplin, who passed away in a mental institution after suffering from dementia related to tertiary syphilis.  Oh, wait, Tony-winning actress Nina Arianda will make her big-screen debut in the title role?  If not Scott, then who?  Maybe this is a Cate Blanchett playing Bob Dylan sort of thing…

I can sort of see a resemblance.