By: Julio De Francisco (Five Beers) -
Will Atenton (Daniel Craig) and his family are set — they’ve just moved into a new home and his wife Libby (Rachel Weisz) and daughters are very happy to see him. However, they learn that a family was slain in the home and (judging by the movie poster) the audience can figure out the rest before the movie ends. You’d be wise to bring at least five beers because Dream House was not the dream movie its creators likely envisioned it would become. The movie is basically summarized in the movie trailer so if you need an excuse to get buzzed, see this flick.
The length of the film may have led to its downfall, as the film was poorly edited and felt rushed. However, at 92 minutes, I was certainly thankful that it ended when it did. I’m used to kids movies cutting out at 90 minutes. It makes sense, no matter what’s on screen, after about 30 minutes, no matter what a 5 year old is seeing, they find it more fascinating to play hide and seek in the cinema than to watch a feature length film. Moms and Dads reading this review know what I’m talking about. If the theater wasn’t as empty as it was I might have asked anyone if they wanted to play hide and seek instead of watch Dream House. As much as I tried to get into the film, it just wasn’t really keeping my attention. If the movie had carried on for another 30 minutes I would have had more time to down that last pint of beer. Thankfully, it didn’t, and I was free to go home and with my breath, laden with alcohol, begin to talk shit about the movie.
Is this movie over yet?
You know the editing is bad when a scene begins in the middle of a conversation. There is one scene in particular where Will sets out to find out more about the family that was murdered in his home. You suspect he’s going to the public library or to the police station. Instead he finds himself at a diner in the middle of a conversation with two perturbed police officers. One moment Will is walking down the sidewalk and boom he’s in the middle of the conversation, or in the middle of speaking a word when the scene cuts in. There are several of these sorts of cuts sprinkled throughout the movie. If I’m wrong about this, then I guess I should blame the projectionist who spliced the movie I screened.
I know what I’m doing.
Very poor plot. The 180 twist in the middle of the movie that was also revealed in the trailer really dragged out the story longer than it needed to go. I’ll just say it — ***THIS IS NOT A SPOILER IF YOU’VE SEEN THE MOVIE TRAILER OR LOOKED AT THE MOVIE POSTER*** … …the family is dead. And guess what, that doesn’t ruin the OTHER 180 waiting for you, that you also suspect within 20 minutes of the film.
I see B-Movies… BEER Movies. Beer me, please.
Seeing talented actors being wasted on such a poorly executed movie is akin to watching someone drain a beer after popping the cap open. I wouldn’t say Craig, Watts, and Weisz put their best foot forward on this project, but they weren’t bad. Unfortunately, the whole concept and the story seemed to drag on — for all 92 minutes of it.
Just as wasteful
Okay, for Reelz Spoilers!
Once the plot unravels, and you realize that Will Atenton is just crazy and seeing his family like Russell Crowe in A Beautiful Mind, you begin to suspect that he’s a schizophrenic. However, the other twist is that he’s not crazy — he has in fact been only partially hallucinating and partially making love to a Poltergeist. Where have I seen this before?
Dream House is an awful film, but ultimately I couldn’t really give it a Six Pack as the 180 twist at the end is mildly entertaining. The best I can say about it is that, while his role was very short, I enjoyed seeing Casey Jones from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on screen.
Bonus Drinking Game
Take a Drink: whenever Daniel Craig and Rachel Weisz kiss.
Take a Drink: whenever you see Rachel Weisz stare out a window.
Take a Drink: whenever you hear the names Will, Atenton, Peter, Ward
Take a Drink: whenever a hooded man appears.
Take a Drink: whenever Will transitions in and out of sanity.