By: Oberst von Berauscht (Five Beers) -
This one goes to the film’s ambition. You have to credit the filmmakers for taking a classic Rashomon-style premise and spinning it into a modern story, filling the film with excellent character actors. In Vantage Point, a political assassination attempt, and the events following are shown through the points of view of multiple characters. Some of whom know more than others.
Sounds like a job for Toshiro…
Unfortunately, it goes downhill from the concept. Grab a cold one and watch the most stupidly convoluted conspiracy unfold. Who are these third-rate baddies? What were they trying to accomplish? And how did they manage to get so many things right in the planning stage? The actions they take to create chaos make no sense. That is unless you subscribe to the “Stormtrooper” theory of film (in which the bad guys are elite killers until their guns have to aim at a protagonist).
Take another drink from the case because Forest Whitaker, who is normally one of Hollywood’s strongest actors, holds a camera, smiles and wears a shit-eating grin through the whole movie. He has more enthusiasm for the camera than a retarded man-child with Yo Gabba Gabba! and a piece of cake.
I like turtles!
Open letter to Dennis Quaid:
I’ve seen The Right Stuff; you’re a better actor than this. Hell, you’re a better actor than pretty much every movie that you appear in. In fact, you’ve made a career of being the best actor in mediocre films. Recently though, you’ve made it a point to take films that have typecast you as the “actor we got because Harrison Ford cost too much”.
-the Footloose remake?… Fucking blow me
Want poorly written dialog? Want embarrassingly wooden line delivery? Then look no further than Sigourney Weaver and her “Global News” team. Three generally good character actors who I am sure did what they could (considering the lack of talent behind the camera and on the page). Weaver hasn’t been this wooden since American TV Producers of Planet Earth decided her voice would be more marketable than Sir David Attenborough. At least she let somebody else take the narrative reins for the series Life.
Unwatchable from every angle.
Bonus Drinking Game
Take a Drink: when Forest Whitaker looks around stupidly
Take a Drink: for ever flashback